Martha Stewart Knows Exactly Why Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina Candle Sold Out

In case you wondered what perennial arbiter of taste, horse girl, and Snoop Dogg’s bestie Martha Stewart thought about rival lifestyle mogul Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina candle, here’s your answer. Last night on Watch What Happens Live, a caller asked Martha to weigh in on Gwyneth’s latest act of outlandish Goopery: a sold-out $75 dollar candle called “This Smells Like My Vagina.” Now this was of course a journalistically pointed question on the scale of Frost/Nixon, as Martha has famously shaded Gwyneth and Goop for years, especially whenever she drops by the Clubhouse. Remember the time Martha took shade to new levels by publishing an entire series of “Conscious Coupling” holiday pies in an issue of Martha Stewart Living and then Gwyneth clapped back with a “Jailbird Cake“? We think about it every day.

Anyway. First Martha mishears the question and thinks the candle is “Smells Like Martha What?” (which, by the way, sounds like the first draft of Her Smell main character Becky Something). Then, host Andy Cohen corrects her and fellow guest Karlie Kloss adds that she thinks “it’s kinda genius.” But Martha’s not convinced: “I’m sure it’s sold out. I mean, she does that kind of irritating … she’s trying to zhuzh up the public to listen to her. And that’s great. Let her do her thing. I mean, I wouldn’t buy that candle.”

Andy tries to go all Democratic primary debate, asking, “what does it say about America that the candle is now sold out?” Martha’s response: “I think it’s not America. I think it’s a lot of guys who are horny.” We eagerly await the launch of Martha’s line of horse-scented candles named after her pony Ben Chunch.

Martha Knows Exactly Why Gwyneth’s Vagina Candle Sold Out