The Large Adult Teens of Riverdale Will Find an Excuse to Sing Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Sweet Home Cooper-Alice, Lord I’m coming home. Photo: The CW

Brush off that horny Riverdale-musical-performances ranking and get ready for the best high-school show-tune performance since … Ben Platt doing “I Sing the Body Electric” at the Grammys, I guess. Teen-TV mastermind Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa has announced the latest musical that the Riverdale gang will perform after the fictional high school’s murderous and cult-filled productions of Carrie and Heathers in seasons past. This time, they’re doing John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask’s classic Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and they’re going extra meta-conceptual. Because a musical episode about a high-school musical set on a show where characters already spontaneously break out into song all the time was just too straightforward. We’re living in a post–High School Musical: The Musical: The Series world now, after all. Here’s the synopsis, from Decider:

After the previous debacles of Carrie and Heathers, Kevin Keller has decided to revive Riverdale High’s tradition of hosting a Variety Show! But when Mr. Honey forbids him from performing a number from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Kevin and our gang rallies against their principal — by each performing a number from Hedwig, turning the Variety Show into a full-fledged musical that, as always, reflects our characters’ inner lives and struggles. And amidst all the drama, one forbidden “showmance” begins to blossom …

There’s also some enticing promo art, which teases Ethel Muggs doing Madame Butterfly:

This is precisely the sort of chaos we love from Riverdale. Also, and hear us out, this might actually be good. Hedwig’s blend of narrative musical number and rock is what Riverdale excels at (see: Veronica and the Pussycats performing “Out Tonight” from Rent). Dark Betty could break out the bob one more time for “Wig in a Box.” Cheryl Blossom and Toni Topaz could do a supercute “Origin of Love.” And Archie? Archie can be stage manager. Aguirre-Sacasa told Decider, “When we heard that Stephen Trask was a fan of Riverdale, we thought — is there a way we can do Hedwig and still have it tie into the stories we’re telling?” So the episode sounds like it has Trask’s blessing. The episode airs on April 8 at 8 p.m. on the CW, so you still have time to mentally prepare yourself for Veronica singing “Sugar Daddy” while making direct, unfortunate eye contact with Hiram.

Riverdale’s Doing a Hedwig and the Angry Inch Episode