Schitt’s Creek has several items on its final season to-do list in order to ensure a satisfying send-off for all involved: Get David and Patrick married, reunite Alexis and Ted, have Johnny and Moira decide if they’ll stay in Schitt’s Creek, and have Stevie Budd figure out her life, to name a few. If I were ranking all the story lines throughout Schitt’s Creek’s run, none of the three in “The Job Interview” would be toward the top of that list, but two of them are very clearly working toward getting our characters where they need to be before they take their final bows.
Take Johnny and Moira, for instance. Of all our characters, their happy ending seems most up in the air: Johnny’s looking to expand the Rosebud Motel business and Moira remains the one member of the Rose family still very much looking to get the hell out of Schitt’s Creek. In “The Job Interview,” their hopes and dreams collide as Johnny attempts to procure a loan to buy the motel we visited last week, while Moira remains confident that her husband will succeed and thus their escape plan can be set into motion. Johnny, of course, does not get that loan. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have enough assets, but also maybe it’s because he brought Roland along, which is always a terrible idea — a lesson I thought Johnny had learned by now.
But before Moira can lament her “lengthy layover” in Schitt’s Creek stretching out for several more years, the Roses and Schitts come up with a plan B: They’re going to hit Bob up for some money. It seems like his garage is doing well. Gwen’s been traipsing all over town in real Lululemons. Bob’s currently sitting at the café in a full leather outfit (which really ups the delight factor of the Bob Run). They must be rolling in it. They decide to ask Bob for some money over dinner. But for all their Sloppy Jocelyns and mentioning of Bill and Melinda Gates, this plan, too, goes spectacularly wrong. Hmm, weird considering they were going off intel from ROLAND. Again, why? It turns out that Bob has no money to give them: Gwen’s left him for their pastor (she’s into bad boys now, you see) and he’s in need of money to keep his home. Moira wore her green pixie-cut wig for nothing. NOTHING.
Once Johnny gets word that the motel has been sold to a different buyer, all hope seems to be lost. “Oh John, hold me,” is all Moira can get out. Things are dire. And then there’s a knock at the door. Roland and Jocelyn have news: They took out a second mortgage and bought the other motel. That’s right, people: The Roses and the Schitts are going into business together. Johnny is beside himself with gratitude, which forces me to ask: Is Johnny outside his mind?
While we await the growing pains a business venture with Roland Schitt is sure to bring, we should discuss Stevie’s future job prospects. Stevie walking away from the Rosebud Motel just as Roland is stepping up as a business partner might prove to be the smartest move she could ever make, but still: If she’s giving up the Rosebud Motel permanently, what’s next for her? Perhaps it’s a job with Larry Air, an airline purchased by a guy who used to own delis. Larry’s story just goes to show you that there’s no one clear path to success in the airline industry.
Will our Stevie Budd be the next to find success in the skies? She’s going to a Larry Air flight attendant open call, hoping that it might be a good fit for her as she figures out what she wants from life — at the very least, it will allow her to travel outside of Schitt’s Creek. When she asks David to come over and help her choose an outfit — which flannel rules them all? — things devolve into a conversation about which of them is more qualified to be a flight attendant. One of the greatest and most prolific running gags on Schitt’s Creek is the mention of ridiculous things the Roses used to do in their previous privileged life. Usually it has to do with Alexis, sometimes Moira, but this time it’s David and it is perfect: David knows he’d be an excellent flight attendant because he was told so by the hostess on his family’s private jet, and she let him “debone a branzino during turbulence,” so you know she meant it.
With the challenge accepted, Stevie and David both head down to Larry Air to compete for the job. David is as smug as you’d expect, but he reads the situation all wrong and is eventually cut by interviewer Carol before the final round of interviews. “I’m taking the peanuts, Carol!” he yells as he stomps out of there. A true blaze-of-glory exit if ever there was one.
You know who does get the job though? Stevie Budd. Back at her place, it still takes some prodding to get David to admit Stevie was more qualified than he was for the gig. I mean, it’s by Carol’s standard so take it with a grain of salt, but still, it feels right to see Stevie take the first step toward a bigger life. It also feels right to watch Dan Levy inhale white wine from the bottle through his teeth after admitting defeat. That feels the most right of all.
The Wig Wall
• Elsewhere in Schitt’s Creek, Alexis and Ted are navigating their long-distance relationship with unsuccessful video chats and the purchasing of turtles named Ted. There’s hope for them yet when Ted (the human, not the turtle) surprises Alexis with a virtual anniversary dinner at the café — just Alexis and her “Galapa-guy” via computer. Wanting to work hard at her relationship feels like a very mature move for Alexis Rose, and I’m proud mom/recapper.
• Schitt’s Creek never disappoints when it throws the four Roses into a scene together, and that truth is proved once again by this episode’s opening scene in which David walks in on Alexis trying to have an intimate video chat with Ted, and then blabbing about it to Johnny, which leads to Moira walking in to deliver this perfectly constructed and delivered line: “Alexis, what have I told you about putting your body on the internet? Never! Never without proper lighting.”
• Okay, fine. The one Roland line I laughed out loud at was his response to the banker thinking he was Stevie Budd: “Believe it or not, that’s a woman’s name.”
• Apparently Alexis’s usual at the café is a green smoothie with no greens. I’m going to miss her dearly.
• Alexis after losing Ted the Turtle: “The slowest animal on earth escaped from me, that can’t not be a bad sign.”
• “My mom had a turtle dove that was eaten by her ex-fiancé’s snake. That was a bad sign. And it happened on Valentine’s Day. And her ex-fiancé was a Satanist.” Oh, Twy. Never change.
• I never got a youth-pastor vibe from Patrick, but after Stevie calls out David for looking like one while wearing Patrick’s clothes, I cannot unsee it.