last night on late night

Medieval Times Should Be So Lucky to Employ Adam Driver’s Unhinged Community-College Knight

If anyone asks who slew the bloated bastard king of Lyndhurst’s Medieval Times, always remember this name: Cameron Bisle, SAG-AFTRA eligible. As a spiritual sequel to withered oil baron Abraham H. Parnassus, Adam Driver’s community-college thespian wreaks utter havoc as the castle’s resident red and yellow knight, which we should’ve known as soon as he insisted on bringing a weapon from home and spitting on the “whore” princess. “My land was taken, my village burned on the orders of this false king, all because we wouldn’t pay his unjust tax! Their soldiers murdered my son and ravaged my wife!,” the method actor declares, before turning on the amused audience. “My family was murdered and you cheer?! He charges you $110 for chicken and potato, and he doesn’t give you the dignity of a fork!” He might be angry, but his noble branch manager is about to be angrier.

Medieval Times Can’t Handle Adam Driver’s Unhinged Knight