overnights

High Fidelity Recap: Once I Had a Love …

High Fidelity

What Fucking Lily Girl?
Season 1 Episode 3
Editor’s Rating 4 stars

High Fidelity

What Fucking Lily Girl?
Season 1 Episode 3
Editor’s Rating 4 stars
Photo: Phillip Caruso/Hulu

Before the final scene of “What Lily Girl?” unfolded, I was ready to categorize this episode as mostly genial filler, a very pleasant way to spend 27 minutes in the groove High Fidelity has established for its viewers, but not much else. Then Debbie Harry appeared onscreen, enjoying a large glass of red, dispensing romantic advice, and shimmying around Rob’s living room to an early version of “Heart of Glass” while wearing a black satin moto jacket-style jumpsuit. Is there a multisyllabic German word for whooping with giddy delight while beginning to suspect that the protagonist of your show is fully hallucinating?

Throughout the episode, Rob is chasing feeling better, with mixed results. Cam swings by the store, ostensibly to sell a bunch of records, but really to provide some Mac updates and brotherly advice. It turns out Mac and Lily have been together for nearly a year and they’re living together. And maybe they’re going to get engaged. Woof.

Before Rob can settle into a full tailspin, Cam reminds her that obsessing for far too long and too deeply on failed relationships is an unhealthy, longstanding pattern for her: “You freak out and shut down and spend the next five years spinning your wheels and muttering to yourself about what went wrong.” Couldn’t Rob find something else to focus her energies on? Well, sure. Did Cam intend for Rob to fixate on Mac’s Instagram account? Probably not, but that’s where Simon finds her next, holed up in her office, sneaking a cigarette and infinitely scrolling.

What Simon doesn’t know is that while looking for her pack of cigarettes, Rob first sees the little red jewelry box with the engagement ring from “Track 2” in her office drawer. Wait, what? On second glance, it’s the cigarettes. But we all saw the little red box that wasn’t really there.

Simon’s streak as an A+ supportive friend continues unbroken as he offers to scroll through Lily’s own Instagram to save Rob the agony. Lily’s aesthetic is “all dogs and sunsets and flowers and cocktails.” What does Lily herself look like? No selfies? In the year of our Beyoncé 2020? Is not showing up in your own Insta a new type of flex now?

No time to ponder this question, because Cherise pops in with a red alert: “the dope-ass, fine-ass Scottish singer Liam is in the motherfucking store!” Liam (Thomas Doherty) impresses Simon (okay, and me, too) with his knowledge of the legendary Brazilian band Os Mutantes, then invites the trio to his show that evening, smoothly offering to put them on the list.

Rob monologues about not going out, and then sees frosé, Lily’s preferred drink, on offer at a brunch place on the way home. Damn it all to hell, it’s delicious, but the next thing she knows, suddenly every word she hears and sees is “Lily.” It’s like that scene in Being John Malkovich where Malkovich goes into his own brain and all anyone can say is Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich. That’s hallucination number two, and Rob knows she’s in a bad way.

The remainder of the episode is taken up with more delightful hanging out and witty banter among Rob, Liam, Cherise, and Simon. Unfortunately, Liam turns out to be barely out of high school, so that’s an end to that flirtation, but their brief acquaintance prompted Rob to think more about Simon’s Theory of Relationships. She also identifies an essential question of her breakup with Mac: how could he love Lily, a seemingly uncomplicated person, after loving her, a very complicated person?

The next day, Simon has protected Rob from her worst impulses by doing some forensic Instagramming to find a photo of Lily, from her and Mac’s housewarming party a few weeks ago. Aw. That’s real friendship. Rob claims to feel better, but later fourth-walls that she really doesn’t, and can’t grasp why she never gets any better at managing her feelings about the end of romantic relationships.

So Rob makes the very normal, healthy decision to call her first boyfriend’s old phone number from seventh grade to ask him what he thought was wrong with her. It turns out that Kevin Bannister married Hannah Shepherd. Rob rejoices in this news, proclaiming “I am FINE! This had nothing to do with me, it was fate!” Next up, it’s time to contact all of her Top Five Heartbreak exes, so she can learn their perspectives on why those relationships ended.

This episode opened with Rob and Cam affectionately squabbling while Blondie’s “Heart of Glass” played. It now ends with “Once I Had A Love,” an earlier and less dancefloor-shimmery version of the same song, and with a cameo by Debbie Harry, sporting the aforementioned jumpsuit. Is it another shout-out to Fleabag? It’s working!

As Fairy Godmother Debbie Harry dances dreamily to her own song, which is all about the illusory nature of romantic love, she keeps Yes, And-ing Rob’s plan to contact her exes. The process will “heal that little heart of glass,” and although “maybe [the exes] won’t feel so good, [Rob] will feel great.” Best of all, it’ll give Rob an opportunity to “break the pattern of heartbreak and free [her]self!”

B-Sides:

1) Song of the Episode: Debbie Harry’s lyrical assessment that love can literally make you lose your grip on reality — “Once I had a love and it was divine / Soon found out I was losing my mind” — could have been a little on the nose for this episode, but somehow her showing up onscreen makes it work as something both delightful and somewhat heartbreaking. Rob is not okay.

2) Seriously, though, if you haven’t listened to Os Mutantes, do! Brazilian psych-rock is such a treat for your ears.

3) We never see Lily in the episode named for her. Will we meet her later, or will she be a phantom presence, à la Maris Crane?

High Fidelity Recap: Once I Had a Love …