Break out your library cards! Kids would be so lucky if RuPaul showed up at their local library to read to them on a random morning, and, yes, we obviously mean the Drag Race challenge and not the perusal of printed words. Since these kiddos definitely have a bunch of washed up basic little friends to get ahead of, Ru fills his lesson with the classics: Eloise needs a hot oil treatment for the broom on her head. Nancy Drew is masturbating with that Old Clock. What the hell, The Very Hungry Caterpillar? Why do you look so orange with that shitty foundation? “Reading is throwing shade. A brutal insult wrapped inside a glorious wordplay,” Ru explains to the very confused adults. “A well-timed read is going to save their little booties on the playground.” They’re sashaying away with so much knowledge. It’s inspiring.