January Jones, in a Rainbow Caftan, Brews a ‘Human Stew’ Bath

“It’s just that my people are Nordic.” Photo: January Jones/Instagram

January Jones has the incredibly dewy skin and general luminescence of someone whose skin-care and wellness routines are clearly working. And now, we know how she does it. This Instagram Story of the actress guiding folks through her soothing bath that includes vinegar and unspeakable suggested amounts of both salt and baking soda is riveting. Let’s just consider the process. Jones, in a beaded rainbow caftan, is currently in coronavirus self-isolation just like the rest of us, and she’s a little bored. (Which she explicitly mentions in an earlier part of the story not included in the clip below.) And if there’s one thing we have learned from Vanessa Hudgens, it is that these are “crazy times” and celebrity Instagrams should be monitored closely for content.

So, since Jones has the time, she’s going to take us through the detox bath she draws for herself once in a while. With her face mask on (not the respiratory kind) and that caftan adding a pop of color, Jones suggests adding a “small thing of baking soda,” otherwise known as a standard-sized box of baking soda, and pouring the whole damn thing into the water. Relatably, she suggests going to buy some if you don’t have any, and that “they should have that left” at the store where she surely knows the toilet paper has been gone for days. After the baking soda comes the apple cider vinegar, which leads to the absolutely remarkable moment when she says the bath is “like human stew.” Human stew! While you’re still processing that, Jones throws in two cups of salt — it sounds like any old salt will do? — before suggesting ideal ratio of seasonings is actually a pound of salt and pound of baking soda. Two pounds of salt and baking soda in what appears to be a shallow bath. And even though we have told you the step-by-step of how this process goes, the minor chaos of watching Jones herself do it with the whole lewk and tone just cannot be replaced. So, please watch below, and January, please, please keep posting stories just like this.

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January Jones, in a Rainbow Caftan, Brews ‘Human Stew’ Bath