“I thought you were gonna take out the garbage? What happened?,” is the most Larry David way to barge into an interview, the second being, “Your glasses are on the floor. I stepped on ‘em.” The Curb Your Enthusiasm star interjected both after wandering into daughter Cazzie David’s remote guest appearance on Ezra Koenig’s Apple Music show Time Crisis on Sunday. But now that he’s here, Larry David wants to acknowledge his early leadership in the germophobia movement, and has some suggestions for how we can take social isolation to the next, most logical conclusion. (Spoiler alert: have sex now!)
“Well, I’ve been talking about shaking for a long time. How wrong that is,” David muses, when asked about his strong anti-handshake stance, which he says he’s been pushing since “the ‘90s.” Explains Larry, “There was a time when I was grabbing people’s elbows. I thought the fist bump was a good new development. There’s too much contact between people. Even sex… it’s enough. People gotta do something about the sex.” Then he went on a tangent about shortstop Mark Koenig, who played for the New York Yankees from 1925 to 1930, but you get his overall point. You can hear Larry David’s thoughts on being ahead of the germ curve here, or use your time more wisely and get your intercourse in now.