The trio of Grand Tour (né Top Gear) chaps aren’t exactly known for their passion to being law-abiding denizens of the United Kingdom, which makes this coronavirus PSA from Jeremy Clarkson all the more amusingly remarkable: He wants you all to stay home, you twats, to protect the other co-hosts in your life. (Yes, of course you can substitute co-hosts for family, friends, or Dacia Sanderos.) “Normally, when I’m told to do something, I react by doing the exact opposite. I’ve done that all my life,” Clarkson explained. “But on this occasion, no. I have been asked to stay at home … I’m doing what Mr. Johnson has asked me to do. Because if we go outside, there’s a good chance we could infect someone that’s old and frail, like James May. And do you want James May’s death of your conscience? No, you don’t. I haven’t even got the internet here. I can’t even watch pornography.” This is honestly a better twist than the time he crashed the world’s smallest car.