The Real Housewives of Atlanta
The urban legend is if you say his name five times in the mirror, he appears behind you and sucks the soul out of your body.
Shhh … Stop. Don’t say that.
I just can’t figure out if Marc genuinely hates Kenya or just hates being married to someone who is on a reality show. But the real issue is SHE WAS ON A REALITY SHOW BEFORE YOU MET HER, YOU DUMMY. Marc and Kenya both have visions of each other that don’t seem to exist. Kenya believes Marc is her Prince Charming, her knight in shining armor riding up in a white Escalade to give her the fairy-tale life she deserves; Kenya never realized that in all those fairy tales, Prince Charming never supported a progressive feminist platform. Marc thinks Kenya is a vessel for his children and the stylist for his eveningwear options.
So when the more real versions of Marc and Kenya meet, it’s all bad. Kenya and Marc have the same passive-aggressive tendencies when it comes to dealing with conflict. Kenya pretends the problem doesn’t exist and passes her frustration on to other people, and Marc pretends Kenya doesn’t exist. Aaah, newlyweds.
Let’s get to it.
The episode starts on a cute note, with Cynthia organizing Eva’s baby shower. The theme of the baby shower is “Sunflowers. Love & Light” which is perfect for Eva’s hippie self. I just wasn’t aware of so much sunflower-themed attire. The baby shower is being held at Eva’s friend Natasha’s house, and when NeNe arrives, she says in a confessional that it’s interesting that no one has ever been to Eva’s house. Maybe Eva doesn’t even live in a house. Maybe Eva lives in a box underneath a bridge like some sort of troll. NeNe’s path toward enlightenment is really going well for her.
The talk of the baby shower is how everyone witnessed Kenya’s transformation into Ken. It’s all very fun to laugh at our friend’s gaslighting marriage! NeNe says she tried to reach out to Kenya and extend an olive branch. She reads a text message she sent to Kenya and it’s a truly wild ride: “Life is short, between Gregg’s illness, going to Kim Porter’s funeral, and the death of Nipsey Hussle, I have a baby gift for you.” Was NeNe or Kenya friends with Nipsey Hussle, or was she just listing important Black History deaths to guilt Kenya into accepting a baby gift? She also says Kenya is an evil person for not returning the message.
Cynthia and Eva sit down once all the quasi-sexual baby games have been played and are stunned that everyone is happy and there wasn’t any drama. Can you believe it? At the same time, Kandi asks Tanya and Kenya to sit down to put all the drama aside before the trip to Greece. Oh, Cynthia and Eva, you spoke way too soon. Kenya wants Tanya to basically accept her sorry-ass apology that included shock that Tanya has never been called the C-word before. Tanya is still upset that Kenya would bring the Cookie Lady around her, and Kenya says only Tanya thinks the claim is frivolous. KENYA. CAN YOU NOT? Tanya rightfully thinks her husband doesn’t want to be around people who dig up bakery women to sling around claims that he’s unfaithful. Tanya knows Kenya and Marc just want Paul’s good name and good finances at their charity event, and maybe Kenya should be more self-aware in this moment. Unfortunately, Kenya is completely incapable of being self-aware or in any way reasonable.
It’s a few days until Marc’s charity event, and Kenya is running around town using all her connections to bring this event together. She’s doing so hoping Marc will be able to appreciate everything she’s doing. Oooooooh, Kenya. No.
Before the charity event, Kandi is doing a self-tape for a role on The Chi. Everything about this made me very happy: from Kandi’s makeup-free face to her plaid blazer representing a “soft butch” look to Donjuan and Jami giving Kandi acting advice about being manly. Everything in this moment. Kandi is trying to get this role because she wants to be seen as a serious actress in serious roles. Kandi is also expecting her new baby. No one seems to have spelled out for Kandi that The Chi films in Chicago and maybe heading out to play a very sexy, very gruff lesbian isn’t exactly the best timing when you’re expecting a new baby. But Kandi can’t walk away from money to be made and a new industry in which to show her bare ass, so she’s taping this audition.
Kenya comes over to Cynthia’s house to chat about Cynthia and Mike trying to figure out counseling. Cynthia, at least, can identify that she and Mike aren’t the best communicators and aren’t the best arguers. She explains this to Kenya, and because Kenya is completely incapable of not projecting her own relationship issues onto everyone around her, Kenya starts talking about how Marc can withdraw from their arguments and she doesn’t know any of the triggers to avoid setting him off. She asks if Mike can apologize … because Marc doesn’t know how to apologize. Cynthia says she would want Mike to be honest with her and she’s going to be honest with him. Kenya says, “People in hell want ice water, but they’re not going to get it,” because Kenya lives in the darkest timeline possible. Kenya says her marriage needs intimacy but that doesn’t always mean sex. Dear God, someone free this woman from this marriage. She’s realizing that Marc’s habits are changing and he’s becoming a different person. She doesn’t want to be single, because she wants the relationship she had. Ma’am. You need to run.
Before the charity event, NeNe is on the phone with WENDY WILLIAMS, who is a dear friend. She wants to ask Wendy for advice. NeNe wants to see every city in the world, which I believe is physically impossible, but in order to see any city in Greece, she’s going to have to be on the trip with Kenya. Kenya doesn’t speak to her, and when she does, it’s short and curt. Why can’t NeNe just live with that status quo? Ohhh, I forgot — it’s because NeNe refuses to accept any treatment other than complete deference. Wendy tells her she should only show everyone her best side, even if it’s her spread hips and ass to kiss.
In another completely dark moment, Kenya arrives home with suit options for Marc because he told her the morning of the event that he needs a suit. He insists he told her three days ago because he can’t let her win. Marc nitpicks everything Kenya brought him while he holds baby Brooklyn. He also won’t let her schedule when each speaker is going to speak or let them know that they have to speak. He also wants to completely change the seating arrangements. Has anyone exposed Marc to an Infinity Stone? Because this motherfucker might be Loki in disguise. Kenya wants tonight to be their introduction as a couple, and Marc wants Kenya to buy him a better fucking tie! Kenya walks out to get dressed and calls him an asshole under her breath. Sweet Christ, GET OUT, PEOPLE.
The gals all show up, and Tanya isn’t sitting with the rest of the girls so Porsha tries to get her at their table. Kenya flips out and sends Tanya packing in the first of many seat rearrangements. The event starts with a performance of “Amazing Grace” that you know took no less than 15 minutes. Dennis is fully asleep by the end of the song. Once the men start speaking, Marlo shows up with her nephews in matching silk tuxedos and starts looking for her table. Kenya starts directing them to the back of the room like she’s air-traffic control. If in this moment Marc had decided to just thank Kenya for her help with the event, Marlo would have been spared, but Marc ain’t gonna do that.
Marlo insists she’s going to take her nephews, the only two children at the event for a charity for black children and teens, and leave. The gals gather around her and convince her to stay. Kenya says Marlo should have been grateful and had a positive attitude that she got a free seat at this charity benefit: “Where is your $750? I can’t stand these girls. Nasty, entitled women, fake all that. Drama and nasty in front of all these people!” If we can all read between the lines, Kenya knows that if there are any mishaps at this event from her Housewives crew, Marc is going to blame her and she’ll never hear the end of it. Marc is happy that Marlo brought her nephews because he’s diametrically opposed to supporting his wife.
Later in the evening, Marc is telling a random woman that he hates “the ride that comes with marriage” and that everyone knows that. There’s some audio footage of Marc talking to production, trying to get them out of the rest of the evening and saying that Kenya’s security people hovering is pissing him off. He walks away, saying, “Save me from the drama” and “It’s invasive. They can’t film forever. They gotta wrap it. If I come back back, it’s gonna be ugly. End it. End it.”
As the episode ends, we’re informed that Kenya and Marc filed for divorce THE DAY AFTER the charity event. To be continued … in Greece?!