Larry David really didn’t want to film this coronavirus video. It’s not the kind of thing he enjoys doing, obviously. He’d rather be plotting his next spite store. But he’s never one to pass up the opportunity to lambaste the decision-making of the American youth, especially if they keep ignoring the warnings of their states or criticizing the quality of his favorite scones. “I basically want to address the idiots out there, and you know who you are,” David explained. “You’re hurting old people like me. Well, not me, I have nothing to do with you, I’ll never see you. But other, let’s say, other old people who might be your relatives, who the hell knows?”
The next time you feel like socializing too close, David implores, realize that this “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to stay in the house, sit on the couch, and watch TV” won’t happen again. (Where you’ll be lauded a hero, anyway.) “I don’t know how you’re passing that up,” he added. “I guess you’re not that bright. Go home and watch TV, that’s my advice to you. If you’ve seen my show, nothing good ever happens going out of the house, you know that. It’s just trouble out there. It’s not a good place to be. Stay home and don’t see anyone.” Unless maybe if you have a plumbing emergency. You can let the plumber in, and then, you know, wipe everything down when he leaves.