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SNL’s Donald Trump Is Thrilled at America’s Global Covfefe-19 Domination

Taking a break from pleading to open the economy for the sake of himself, Donald Trump, not unlike his weekly Fox & Friends calls, decided to dial in to SNL to give our hosts an update about the “covfefe-19” situation. And you know what? He’s pretty pleased with himself. Thanks for asking. “I’m very happy to report that America is now number one in the world with the coronavirus,” Trump explained. “Every night at 7 p.m., all of New York claps and cheers for the great job I’m doing.” Something he’s not thrilled about, though? The need to “tone down the ethnic slurs,” since he recently discovered that everything we need to survive the virus is made in China. “Some of the other names we workshopped were Chinese Flu, Hong Kong Flu-y, Crouching Tiger Hidden Symptoms, Wang Chung Lung, and General Tso’s Revenge,” he added. “Stephen Miller came up with Yellow Fever, but that’s already a thing when a white dude is horny for an Asian chick.”

SNL’s Trump Is Thrilled at America’s Covfefe-19 Domination