Stephen Colbert is either playing casting director or Yente, depending on how seriously you’re reading into Governor Andrew Cuomo’s and Robert De Niro’s mutual appreciation. On Wednesday night, Robert De Niro video-called into The Late Show With Stephen Colbert to denounce President Trump, praise Andrew Cuomo, and assure us all that he’s still fit: “I lift. Keeps the bones strong.” When Colbert asks De Niro whom he would want to play in the movie adaptation of the coronavirus pandemic, he says, “I guess I’ll play Cuomo,” adding, “He’s doing what a president should do.” He admonishes the Trump administration, saying, “We of course could’ve survived this much better if idiot had done the right thing, and listened, and heeded all the warnings.” Not even the idiot. Just “idiot” with a lowercase i.
Ever the investigative reporter, the following night, Colbert had Governor Cuomo on the show, and made sure to ask the follow-up question: “In the movie of this, when it’s finally made, who do you want to play you?” noting that De Niro has volunteered his services. After getting over the fact that Dr. Fauci already called dibs on Brad Pitt, Cuomo says, “Bob De Niro. I am a big De Niro fan. He is just phenomenal. The breadth of his ability. I mean, just look at all the roles he’s played. He can do anything. Deer Hunter, Cape Fear, he can do anything. How about Taxi Driver! I’m gonna do Taxi Driver at the next press conference when a reporter asks me a question: ‘You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?’ Oh boy, that’d be a treat. I’m a big De Niro fan. He’s a genius.”
Great, on top of all the other nightmare fuel sloshing around in our panicked, miserable heads, now we have to deal with the mental image of Governor Cuomo with a Travis Bickle cut too.
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