It’s been awhile since Melania Trump (Laura Benanti) swung by The Late Show to gossip about her husband, but can we blame her? She’s hiding from the coronavirus and protesters in a bunker “as empty as a Trump rally,” and, oh yeah, she’s also trying to negate the bad press that’s stalking her after the release of an unauthorized biography. At least she hasn’t tried to hold a rally for herself! “It was like his performance every night,” she noted about Trump’s Tulsa failure, “way smaller than promised and everyone involved should get tested.” Try not to believe everything you read about her either. “This book makes me out to be a ruthless, coldhearted, manipulator who will stop at nothing to get what I want,” she insists. “But it’s also full of lies.” We’ll be sculpting our cheekbones while thinking about what to believe.