Put on your tinfoil hat and your comfiest cardigan and gather round. On Thursday, without any rainbows or secret murals, Taylor Swift announced she’s dropping her eighth album tonight, folklore. (A refreshing change from the usual rollout stress.) Swift, in an announcement on Instagram, said she had “poured all of my whims, dreams, fears, and musings into” the sixteen new tracks with names like “cardigan,” “illicit affairs,” “betty,” and “mad woman.” The album art shows Swift walking through a field, along with another image of Swift walking through the woods, which she is apparently very much not out of.
A few hours after this announcement, Karlie Kloss posted several photos on Instagram of herself in a forest, including one of her standing surrounded by trees with her arms wrapped around one. hmmmmmm.
There’s a rabbithole of content devoted to the alleged romantic relationship — “Kaylor” — between Kloss and Swift that spans years. You’ll start out watching old videos from Victoria’s Secret fashion shows and before you know it you’ll be google mapping routes to Big Sur and looking at the description of a secluded inn in the woods that is “suitable primarily for couples” and boasts no cell service or internet connectivity and that Swift and Kloss allegedly stayed at together. Yes. This makes sense. How did I not see it. You’ll see pictures of a now-deleted black and white Instagram Swift posted where her bangs are mostly obscuring her face but you can still see her smile and Kloss is kissing her cheek and they look like the happiest femme couple you ever did see. Another picture of the two sees them standing facing each other amid a forest of trees, heads craned up to the sky just like Kloss’s latest. It’s right there. You’ll listen to “Dress” and it’ll hit different. “Cornelia Street” will send to you Zillow listings and articles about the former New York City pad of a certain blonde. If you want to believe, you’ll find people ready to convince you. You’ll watch a video of Swift appearing to sing the words “I want her midnights” instead of “your midnights” and it will become your Zapruder film. (Kloss has, in recent years, married a Kushner and been spotted on vacation with known Swift nemesis Scooter Braun. For what context that is worth.)
If you’ve bought into the theory, seeing Kloss’s post so quickly after Swift’s would have likely made you do a double take. (I’m not saying it did for me but I’m not not saying that.) The track names would have made your mind buzz with possibility and speculation. “illicit affairs.” that one is obvious. “betty.” Kloss’s middle name is Elizabeth. Swift is selling eight different folklore covers each with a different name. “meet me behind the mall.” “stolen lullabies.” “hide-and-seek.” “clandestine meetings.” That plus the lesbian cottage-core TikTok vibe of TS8? Simply too much for my tiny gay heart to handle. Hypothetically, of course, because I will neither confirm nor deny that I am a Kaylor truther for, uh, legal reasons.
Update, July 23, 4:49 p.m.: And now, Kloss has shared yet another Instagram post that would raise a Kaylor truther’s eyebrows. (Not mine, of course.) It’s a post promoting a partnership between a beauty brand and Kloss’s coding camp for young girls. A whole bunch of code — I know nothing about code — scrolls across the screen, the words Easter egg positioned prominently in the middle. This on the day of an album launch from HRH Easter Egg herself, Taylor Alison Swift. The defense rests.