Looking to forget how sad you are and think about how sad other people are? You’ve come to the right place! This Is Us, NBC’s weepiest drama to ever weep, returns tonight for its sixth and final (!!) season, which means soon you can stop crying about real things for an hour so you can cry about fictional things. That’s a cool and fun thing to do, right?
But before you dive back into a show that could easily be titled Everyone Is Sad because every person on this show is walking around like their dad died thanks to a malfunctioning Crock-Pot — which for many characters is a thing that happened! — you should get reacclimated with the sadness. Although everyone on this show is, in fact, sad, not everyone is the same amount of sad.
So ahead of the This Is Us season-six premiere, Vulture is continuing our ongoing deep dive into the sadness that is life with the Pearsons to determine who is just mildly sad, taking the tragedy life (and the writers) has given them and getting on with it, and who is so crippled by the laundry list of terrible things that have happened to them that producing a single tear to delicately fall down their cheek has become akin to breathing. (Looking at you, Randall!)
64. Trish Lawrence
Is she sad? Wow, not in the least.
But why? Randall’s seventh-grade teacher’s wife is too fabulous to be sad.
Okay, but is she the saddest? Sure, she has to watch her husband embarrass himself during a dinner at his student’s house, but that is just temporary sadness. Otherwise, no sadness lives here.
63. Yvette
Is she sad? Frustrated that she continuously has to explain Randall to his own parents? Yes. Sad? No.
But why? She just seems pretty together. She’s very patient with Rebecca and Jack, and she’s got great style. She does not reek of sadness one bit.
Okay, but is she the saddest? Far from it! Unless we eventually get some tragic backstory about her parents being murdered by a karate instructor or something — which, honestly, I’ve watched each episode of this show several times and I would not be surprised.
62. Dr. Mason
Is he sad? What in the world does Madison’s doctor have to be sad about?
But why? He’s a kindly ob-gyn and owns a bunch of horses. This dude’s got it made.
Okay, but is he the saddest? Obviously, there is still time, but this doc seems well adjusted. Maybe too well adjusted?? This show does love its twists.
61. Frannie and Nick Pearson
Are they sad? We only really know them as babies, so no, not yet.
But why? They seem to be perpetually napping, and as far as living goes, that’s a pretty sweet way to do it.
Okay, but are they the saddest? Despite being born into a pandemic, these two are doing great! In the flash-forward they seem … fine? Their parents are Kevin and Madison, though, so they are primed to shoot up this ranking at some point.
60. Dr. Vance
Is he sad? Randall’s second therapist seems okay.
But why? I don’t know — he’s great at his job, easily connects with his patients, and has a cute daughter. He does, however, have to pivot to Zoom for work during the pandemic, and we all know that is a huge bummer.
Okay, but is he the saddest? I said he seems okay! I don’t know his life!
59. Annie Pearson
Is she sad? Mostly no because she is an innocent child, but sometimes yes because she is a Pearson.
But why? For someone who has only been on this earth for a short time, she has suffered loss both great (Grandpa William!) and small (Mr. McGiggles!).
Okay, but is she the saddest? This little kid is the most free of all of us—nothing seems to bother her! Not continually giving up her bed for other family members, not packing up her life and moving to Philadelphia, not repeatedly watching her father self-implode! Nothing!
58. Dr. Leigh
Is she sad? Before taking on Randall as a client? No. After? Anyone’s guess.
But why? Randall’s first therapist is extremely good at her job and immediately gets to the root of most of Randall’s problems: His mother. One would have to assume she’s already spent years dealing with her own crap.
Okay, but is she the saddest? Nope. She should add as many Pearsons to her schedule as possible.
57. Audio Pearson-Damon
Is he sad? Honestly, what dog isn’t at some point?
But why? Well, he was left in a dog shelter, so that’s sad. But then he was adopted, so that’s nice! But his human parents are Kate and Toby, which is a real hit-or-miss, depending on the day.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No — he’s the cutest boy in the world!
56. Mr. Lawrence
Is he sad? Randall’s seventh-grade English teacher is sad in the way that it’s sad how much he cares what Randall thinks about him and how hard he tries to outshine Jack. So, yes, a little.
But why? Honestly, other than the aforementioned evidence, Mr. Lawrence seems to have a pretty good life. I’d like an update on his whereabouts in the present, but other than that: Get yours, Mr. Lawrence.
Okay, but is he the saddest?: He and Trish are living the good life.
55. Jae-Won
Is he sad? He wasn’t, but then he met the Pearsons, a.k.a. the Sadness Vortex.
But why? When we first meet Jae-Won, all we know is that he is into politics, he lives in the K-town section of Philly, and he’s very nice to his Grandma. He is not sad (that we can discern), but then he starts working for Randall Pearson, and he’s sighing on the regular.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No, but as a relatively new addition to the Sadness Vortex, things are only going to get sadder for him, even if his engagement proposal set to the Foo Fighters’ “Everlong” did go well.
54. Lucy the Waitress
Is she sad? Adult Baby Jack’s baby mama has the general pallor of sadness about her that all characters on this show do, but at this juncture she does not seem very sad.
But why? She goes from working an exhausting waitressing job in a diner to falling in love to marrying a man who becomes a super-successful musician and gets to follow her culinary dreams. If she’s sad about anything, I don’t want to hear about it.
Okay, but is she the saddest? She is not.
53. Malik Hodges
Is he sad? What joy this child has brought to the Pearson story! But also, he’s been through some things. Verdict: A tiny bit sad.
But why? He’s in high school and is raising his baby daughter with his parents. He loves his daughter, obviously, but that’s tough. It doesn’t seem like things went smoothly with the mother of his daughter and her family, so that could come back up again. Then he meets Deja and falls madly in love, but hi, hello, we know that’s complicated.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No, but sometimes I worry about him.
52. Lizzie
Is she sad? Hard to tell with such little information to go on but when in doubt, lean yes.
But why? Lizzie — the woman Kevin meets in a coffee shop and immediately believes is his great love only to learn she’s married and he’s her celebrity hall pass — is a tricky one. Sure, she got a free, private John Legend concert out of the whole deal, but then she had to explain what a hall pass was to her hall pass and also what does it say about the state of her relationship that she let her date with Kevin get so far? I have a lot of follow-up questions for Lizzie.
Okay, but is she the saddest? I bet her husband is sadder.
51. Adult Baby Jack
Is he sad? I know this seems crazy, but I want to say not really.
But why? We’ve yet to see the full extent of how his childhood pans out — Future Kate’s fate is surely entwined with his overall happiness — but we do know that ABJ easily woos and marries a nice waitress, has a cute baby, and although he suffers a bit for his music, he ends up becoming a megastar. He’s probably a little bit sad about life because that is family tradition, and this family is obsessed with tradition. But still, he’s one of the most well-adjusted Pearsons we’ve met.
Okay, but is he the saddest? This ranking could change a whole lot once we get more information but for now, ABJ is doing just fine.
50. Sloane Sandberg
Is she sad? As much as any millennial playwright trying to get her show produced so she can show up her perfect sister.
But why? Nothing she does is ever good enough for her parents! She has one shot to make her playwright dreams come true and they cast the Manny! She gets sucked into the hellscape that is the Kevin Pearson-Olivia Maine melodrama! You take your pick.
Okay, but is she the saddest? Her play is well received, despite that whole opening-night thing, in which the lead runs away to save his brother mere seconds before the show is about to begin. So that, at least, works out.
49. Malik’s Parents
Are they sad? Darnell and Kelly Hodges seem happy now, but carry old sadness with them.
But why? Malik calls his parents cheesy, and he may be right, but don’t we all want cheese, ultimately? We don’t have lots of details, but we can infer they had a tough go of it at one point and Darnell made some poor choices, but they survived it together.
Okay, but are they the saddest? “For you? I’ll give it everything I got” they say. They are definitely not the saddest, but they might be the cutest?
48. Shelly Rivas
Is she sad? We haven’t seen Shelly in a while, but I’d guess she’s more angry than sad.
But why? Her divorce from Miguel in the ’90s was messy, and from the tidbits Miguel drops postdivorce, it doesn’t sound like things ever got easier. And then at some point she had to discover that her ex-best friend and ex-husband were getting married, so that’s cool.
Okay, but is she the saddest? She doesn’t seem that sad when she and Miguel tell their friends they’re splitting up, but I’d prefer some visual confirmation on her recent level of sadness before making a permanent ruling.
47. Vanessa the Wedding Planner
Is she sad? Did you see her job description? Yes.
But why? She spent all this time dealing with Kevin Pearson’s demands for his perfect wedding only to have it canceled at the last minute!!
Okay, but is she the saddest? No, but you know she spent the night eating an entire wedding cake and sobbing in her hotel bathtub.
46. Sophie’s Mom
Is she sad? Her life mantra was “never settle” — of course she’s sad.
But why? She has a certain joie de vivre about her, but that wears thin on her relationship with her daughter. They get along, but are prone to arguments. News of her death in 2019 hits several people we know very, very hard.
Okay, but is she the saddest? I want to say yes because her “favorite” “drink” is Fresca mixed with Prosecco, but I’ll say no because she never let much bring her down.
45. Kirby
Is he sad: Sadness just fuels his acting fire, so probably a little bit.
But why? He’s a divorced, single dad and acting coach who cannot seal the deal with a grieving Rebecca Pearson. There is some inherent sadness in that very sentence. Mostly, he seems to be doing just fine.
Okay, but is he the saddest? Can an adult male who looks that good in a turtleneck ever truly be sad?
44. Jordan Martin Foster
Is he sad? He certainly makes me sad for all of us, since we have to put up with his shit.
But why? He’s a pretentious movie director who thinks he’s the greatest gift to the world and then he torpedoes Kevin’s career with his terrible movie.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No, but you just know this dude loves talking about ennui.
43. Hailey Damon
Is she sad? Tentatively, yes.
But why? We don’t know much about Kate and Toby’s adopted daughter’s childhood yet, but in the future she seems to be very successful in her art gallery job. I base that observation merely on the fact that she can say the phrase, “the juxtaposition of colors, it’s so compelling,” and sound like she knows what she’s talking about. She’s also seemingly very close with her brother. On the other hand, she looks to be pretty gloomy about some one-night stand with a movie star. All these good things and she can still find something to be sad about? How Pearson of her!
Okay, but is she the saddest? Not yet!
42. Dave Malone
Is he sad? He would never admit it.
But why? Rebecca’s dad is your typical misogynist and all-around jerk, but it’s clear he feels some chauvinistic angst when it comes to who his daughter can and cannot marry.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No, but you know he’s extra sad when he realizes that Rebecca doesn’t care one tiny bit what her father thinks of Jack and marries the guy anyway. Go cry into a martini at your country club, sir!
41. Janet Malone
Is she sad? She’s awful. Does that count?
But why? Rebecca’s mother is overbearing, demanding, impossible, and definitely racist. On top of all of that, she does have a hint of sadness to her. Although we haven’t been privy to much of Rebecca’s childhood, we do know that Mr. Malone treated Janet more like a live-in waitress than a wife, and that’s got to take a toll on a person.
Okay, but is she the saddest? If this show tries to make me feel bad for this woman, so help me!
40. The Actual Back of an Egg
Is it sad? If I had to guess, I’d say, yes, a little.
But why? Because for all its egg life, the front of the egg has gotten all the glory! What does the back get?!
Okay, but is it the saddest? No way! Finally, it gets its due as the titular character in the Off Broadway production of The Back of an Egg, starring the Manny himself, Kevin Pearson.
39. Abe Clarke
Is he sad? Only a normal amount.
But why? Beth’s dad is diagnosed with cancer when Beth’s a teenager — anyone would be sad!
Okay, but is he the saddest? For a dying guy he’s pretty positive, and regardless of how sick he got, he never stopped encouraging Beth to pursue her dreams. We should all be more like Abe! Okay, now I’m sad. Abe got a raw deal!
38. Beth Pearson
Is she sad? It’s truly a miracle she isn’t sadder after standing so close to the Sadness Vortex for so long.
But why? Beth has every reason to sad-sack around town: Her dad — her favorite person and biggest fan — died when she was a teenager; her dreams fell apart; her mother was cold … oh, does this sound like I’m describing Kate Pearson? That’s because the two suffer almost the same fate, but Beth! Doesn’t! Wallow!
Okay, but is she the saddest? You don’t have the time to be sad when everyone around you is ugly crying while sliding down a wall.
37. Olivia Maine
Is she sad? Is Olivia Maine really sad or is she just acting? Because Olivia Maine is a serious thespian!
But why? Her parents sound horrible based on her Tales of Maine Thanksgivings, but I have zero sympathy for a person who meets a dying man and 15 minutes later is like, “How does it feel to be dying?” What a dick!
Okay, but is she the saddest? Her “I’m Finding Myself” Drastic Blonde Bob haircut would like you to think so, but we know better.
36. Phillip
Is he sad? Well, he’s very cranky, and on this show, that usually means he has some tragic story we’ve yet to learn about, so I’m betting yes.
But why? This teacher at the music school for the blind is pretty rude to Kate upon first meeting her, but he eventually softens for her to the point where he refuses to let her resign when she tries. And not to bury the lede or anything, but in five years time, it looks like Kate and Phillip are getting married. Obviously, there is more than we’re being shown when it comes to Phillip here, and it’s probably something at least a little bit sad.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No, but I await the story as to why he is a broken man who can only be healed by Kate’s love with open arms.
35. Carol Clarke
Is she sad? Her “I’m a tough but fair principal and a mother who wants her kids to excel” act is a good one, but deep down, she sad.
But why? Well, the love of her life died from lung cancer and she pushed all of her children away with that aforementioned tough-mom act. She’s lonely!
Okay, but is she the saddest? No — Beth’s mom is resilient and also seems open to suggestions as to how to just relax, lady. When she and Beth have their breakthrough chat in “Our Little Island Girl,” things start to change for Carol. She even comes around on thinking Randall is an acceptable husband for her daughter after all this time. She’s growing!
34. Pilgrim Rick
Is he sad? Oh, you mean the creepy guy who works at a remote motel in the woods on Thanksgiving and enjoys scaring children by grilling them about the Mayflower while wearing a Pilgrim hat? Yeah, I’d say there’s a sadness about him.
But why? Please see above.
Okay, but is he the saddest? Surprisingly, no. It’s probably because the only two movies he watches all day long are Police Academy 3 and 9 and 1/2 Weeks. Who could be sad after that double feature?
33. Toby’s Parents
Are they sad? I’m lumping them together because those two deserve to be stuck on a ridiculous list with one another for the rest of eternity. And yes, of course they’re sad.
But why? Toby’s mother suffers from depression and Toby’s father isn’t supportive in any way. Their divorce is awful and they’ve been at each other’s throats ever since. Parents!
Okay, but are they the saddest? I was going to ding them for that time they tried to stop Toby from marrying Kate because they had concerns, but honestly, that might just be good parenting.
32. Marc
Is he sad? This guy.
But why?: If this was a list ranking the biggest pieces of shit on this show, Teen Kate’s abusive boyfriend would sail to the front. Alas, it is not. Sure, we get hints that he doesn’t come from the greatest of home situations, but I don’t care: Fuck this dude. He’s even an a-hole when Kate tracks him down 20 years later to confront him for the emotional damage he inflicted upon her. He deserves his shitty life!!
Okay, but is he the saddest? Can this guy just leave us alone?
31. Joe the Stripper
Is he sad? After an afternoon posing naked in front of his ex-girlfriend and her new family while they paint his portrait? Uh, yes.
But why? Did you not read what I just said?! He’s going about his business, trying to make a living posing nude for bachelorette parties that think they’re better than everyone else, and bam, he has to spend the day holding a towel over his dick while he gets shamed for ghosting Madison. And also for the color of his nipples!
Okay, but is he the saddest? No, but dang, that is a rough day of work.
30. Hai
Is he sad? He is entangled in a very tragic love story but mostly seems content with how his life worked out.
But why? His relationship with the love of his life was cut short twice — first by Laurel’s father and then again, decades later, by cancer. Still, Hai made the most of his time with Laurel, and it seems like he had a pretty nice life in between the years he shared with her, too.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No, he is not.
29. Joe the Firefighter
Is he sad? He’s at the “My marriage is falling apart so I think stealing a kid to fix it is a good idea” level of sad.
But why? His marriage is falling apart and he thinks stealing a kid to fix it is a good idea! He’s just a man who loves his wife! And cigarettes!
Okay, but is he the saddest? The last time we saw him, he and his wife Samantha decided to truly fight for their marriage and for one another, so I feel like things turned around for ol’ Joe.
28. Louie the Dog Pearson
Is he sad? Oh Lord, yes.
But why? When Jack and Rebecca find him wandering the neighborhood, he looks like he’s had a ruff life. (You get it.) He pees on the carpet a lot, which is usually a sign of some underlying issues. Oh, and he almost dies in a fire, is rescued by a very Hot Dad, who then dies, and Louie, being a constant reminder of that death, is rejected by the teenage girl who loved him most.
Okay, but is he the saddest? Poor Louie didn’t ask for any of this! He’s probably fine, though.
27. Tess Pearson
Is she sad? Sometimes!
But why? Well, she comes out to her family at, like, 10, so that’s tough, and she and her mother seem to butt heads while finding their new bearing. Tess also learns that she suffers from the same debilitating anxiety and panic attacks as her father. So, that’s not great. Adult Tess, although very happy in her dream job as a social worker, is dealing with the impending death of her grandmother (and who knows what else!), so she does have an air of sadness about her in the future as well. Family tradition, really.
Okay, but is she the saddest? No, but honestly if anyone has the right to be, it’s the person who was named after a fan.
26. Ellie
Is she sad? Hailey’s birth mother has been through some things, but generally seems to be able to put her best foot forward.
But why? Her high-school sweetheart turned husband died of cancer, and while trying out some grief sex, she ends up pregnant from a one-night stand. She knows it would be too sad to raise that baby and so decides to give her up for adoption. She is certain Kate and Toby will give her baby a good home, but still, this whole situation is so sad. Oof.
Okay, but is she the saddest? She’s going to be okay!
25. Shauna
Is she sad? Before season four, she would’ve been in the Top 10; by the end of season four, it’s a whole different story
But why? Shauna had a hard life as a pregnant teenager with awful boyfriends and eventually had her daughter taken away for it. That’s some extremely sad stuff! But since Deja was adopted and Shauna got her shit together, she is happy and baking upside-down pineapple cakes and learning what pass interference in football is!
Okay, but is she the saddest? No! Look at her go!
24. Stanley Pearson
Is he sad? He’s mostly a monster, but, yes?
But why? By all accounts, Jack’s dad is awful until his dying day, but in “Vietnam” we learn that he wasn’t always that way — his own father was also an abusive alcoholic and he followed suit. Plus, both of his sons go off to Vietnam and one comes back a complete shell of his former self and the other hates Stanley even more than when he left. Jack won’t even see him when he’s dying!
Okay, but is he the saddest? If only that were his problem.
23. Toby’s CrossFit Group
Are they sad? You know they’re all secretly sad on the inside.
But why? All they do is go to CrossFit, text about CrossFit, and have weird screen names for themselves in their text group. “But why?” is really the only question to ask.
Okay, but are they the saddest? It took me a while to decide, but no.
22. Miguel’s Kids
Are they sad? I mean, did you see these two sad sacks sitting across from Miguel and Rebecca at the most awkward Thanksgiving dinner on This Is Us? And let me remind you that this show had a Thanksgiving dinner in which a man confronted his mother about lying to him about his birth father for 36 years, so that’s kind of a big title to carry.
But why? Obviously their parents’ contentious divorce did a number on Andy and Amber, and it’s clear that Andy’s anger and disrespect toward Rebecca at the dinner table is a mask for how much he misses his dad. Still, do not come at the queen, Andy.
Okay, but are they the saddest? No, but once we get a little more backstory on them, who knows?
21. Cousin Ricky
Is he sad? Um, have you heard him sing “We Can Always Come Back to This?” because that song is sadness.
But why? Getting so close to achieving your dreams but not making it is hard.
Okay, but is he the saddest? When Old Ricky and William make amends before William dies, Ricky seems a little sad, but he’s definitely lived a life, you know? Anyway, I’m going to go listen to his song and let a single tear roll down my face and into my coffee, byeeeeee!
20. Madison
Is she sad?: You get impregnated by a Pearson, you automatically move up at least two spots on this list— I don’t make the rules! Just kidding, I do. Yeah, she’s sad and growing sadder by the trimester.
But why?: Madison started out as just an annoying friend in Kate’s weight-loss group, but then we learned about her secret sadness: She had an eating disorder and body dysmorphia for most of her life. Her parents are objectively terrible. Oh, and remember that time she was just trying to be a good friend to Kate, who was going into labor prematurely, and the Pearson family basically kicked her out? Sometimes the Pearsons are the worst. But then Madison gets knocked up with Kevin’s twins and is welcomed into the Pearson clan. It’s her first real family! Unfortunately, on the day of her and Kevin’s wedding, she realizes he isn’t actually in love with her, only the idea of having a family, and so she calls it off. That’s a bummer, but it shows growth, which is great. It’s a net zero of sadness.
Okay, but is she the saddest? She certainly makes me feel sad, but alas, she is not the saddest on this list.
19. Sophie
Is she sad? Okay, so things took a turn for our dear Sophie and she went from “sort of used to be sad” to “yeah, she’s sad now.”
But why? She’s been burned pretty badly by Kevin, twice: First, when he cheated on her during their marriage and then again when they tried to make things work 12 years later, but he spiraled and blew everything up once again. That’ll leave a mark. Then things look up because she meets a very nice kindergarten teacher and seems happy. But then her mom dies and all she wants is to be comforted by Kevin. They don’t do anything but … is that door open yet again? Oh, Soph.
Okay, but is she the saddest? Is the reason she needed to get a new phone number a sad reason or a practical reason? The answer to that question could really shake up this ranking.
18. Zoe Baker
Is she sad? Yes, but seems fairly well adjusted considering everything she’s been through.
But why? Her father abused her for years, then her mother abandoned her and she lived with Beth’s family, her emotional baggage has ruined many relationships, she’s a little aimless, and she’s constantly bothered by people asking her about her skin care routine, I would assume.
Okay, but is she the saddest? Definitely not. She’s sad, but seems to be confronting her issues pretty head-on? And, like, moving forward with her life in a healthy way? Is she on the wrong show?
17. Miguel Rivas
Is he sad? Did you see his face that time Kevin told him he wasn’t allowed to be Pilgrim Rick? And that’s like, the least of it.
But why? Miguel was bullied as a kid. He goes through a terrible divorce. His children resent him for, like, an enormous amount of time. His best friend dies, and even after ten years of marriage to Rebecca, the Pearsons don’t fully accept him, and then his wife is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, deteriorates rapidly, and her children don’t seem to allow him any opinion on the matter. We also have no idea what has happened to him in the future! Are all of the days Miguel has ahead of him just steeped in tragedy? Can Miguel ever have anything nice???
Okay, but is he the saddest? He certainly could be, but he sets his sadness and grief aside to constantly help Pearsons of all generations. I mean, that conversation he has with Kevin about being “Jack Pearson’s son?” Miguel is too good for this world!
16. Dr. K
Is he sad? There are no hard and fast rules for deciding this, but maybe “openly weeping in front of your wife’s gravestone” should be one?
But why? Dr. K’s dear wife Caroline is dead! And they were married for like 300 years, I think! And he doesn’t want to live without her! Also, his kids are mean!
Okay, but is he the saddest? No way! He rolls into Jack’s funeral at the age of 90 — having survived a car accident in his 80s, need I remind you — and he’s shacked up with that hot widow from the grocery store, still dispensing life advice. What a rebound!
15. Marilyn Pearson
Is she sad? Oh, Marilyn.
But why? We have very little info on Jack’s mom, especially what becomes of her after Jack makes her move out of her abusive husband’s house. (We do know she knits onesies for the Big Three, but what else?) But any time we’ve seen her, things have been dire: She’s in a toxic marriage; she’s not able to keep her sons safe from their father; and then there was the whole Nicky-in-Vietnam thing. Someone needs to protect Marilyn at all costs, is what I’m saying!
Okay, but is she the saddest? My fingers are crossed that Jack gets her out of that house permanently and she spends the final act of her life knitting terrible onesies. Or Terrible Towel Onesies, as it were.
14. Deja
Is she sad? Yes.
But why?: Tossed into some troubling foster-care situations, having to see her mother put in prison, spending several nights in her mother’s car, and ultimately learning that her mother gave up her parental rights so that Deja could be adopted by Randall and Beth did not make for an easy childhood. Doesn’t knowing that her mom’s nickname for her was “Tater Tot” just kick you in the shins?
Okay, but is she the saddest?: She definitely smashed a car with a baseball bat because she was sad, but mostly she has been on an upswing since season four, turning her sadness into a burgeoning career as a Motivational Speaker For Sad Dads Who Need To Get Their Act Together and meeting Malik. Malik is headed to Harvard next year in Boston — where the mother of his child lives — so that could be tough, but we’ve seen Deja in the future, where she is a successful and pregnant med student, so things can’t get too bad, right?
13. The Crockpot
Is it sad? Honestly, so sad.
But why? First of all, it was 1,000 years old when those kindly old neighbors handed it over to new couple on the block Jack and Rebecca. It was probably like, Please don’t keep me! I will only cause you pain! and that’s no way to live. And then it lasted another 17 years, seemingly bringing joy and piping-hot meat concoctions (redundant, I know) to a nice family, only to completely spiral one evening, burning that family’s home and their memories to the ground in a truly gutting montage, ultimately killing the patriarch. It, too, burns up in that fire, but even that crockpot would agree — it got what it deserved.
Okay, but is it the saddest? Don’t think I didn’t consider it!
12. Randall Pearson
Is he sad?: Randall is tricky because he says things like, “A Thanksgiving dad is a hot dad,” but he is also king of the Single Tear.
But why?: Have you been watching this show? He deals with intense abandonment issues from being left at a fire station as a baby, leading to debilitating anxiety attacks because he needs to constantly be the best, be on top of everything, make everyone happy, and be worthy. It’s exhausting just writing about it! Oh, and his dad dies when he’s 17, then he learns his mom has been lying to him about knowing his birth father for his entire life AND THEN, when he finds his birth father, he only gets a few months with him before he dies of stomach cancer. AND THEN he figures out his mother has dementia and is really sick. He’s harboring lingering anger toward her for her lies about William, and oh yeah, he and his brother have a huge fight in which they both say things it will be hard to come back from. AND THEN!!! He learns his birth mother didn’t actually die the day he was born and lived until 2015 — but he didn’t know to look for her!! Okay, finding out about that last thing and finally learning he was born out of so much love brings him a lot of closure.
Okay, but is he the saddest?: No. He may be prone to severe anxiety attacks and is the best crier this world has ever known, but the man is working on himself. He is confronting deep-seated issues and has a great family, his political star is on the rise, and even that accidental livestream striptease worked out in his favor. Things have really turned around for this guy since season one.
11. Ryan Sharp
Is he sad? Just thinking about Ryan makes me want to shroud myself in a giant blanket, turn off all the lights in my home, and not speak to a single soul for at least three days. So yes, he’s sad.
But why? He sort of comes off as a jerk when he seemingly refuses to give Cassidy any room to deal with her PTSD, but also you know he’s just trying to protect his son. But then he goes and gives that whole speech to Kevin about how he can’t celebrate Cassidy’s service as a Marine because the Marines are what destroyed his favorite person in the world and if he thinks about it for too long he’ll just weep until he can weep no more. See? Find me my blanket of sadness, please!
Okay, but is he the saddest? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but not even close.
10. Jessie
Is he sad? This man.
But why? For starters, his cocaine addiction ruined his life. Then late in life he meets his great love in William, who runs off without a word when Randall comes knocking, and when they do finally reconnect, William only has months to live. Months!
Okay, but is he the saddest? Perhaps at one point in his life he would’ve taken the title, but not now. Not with this crew. Still, that phone call with Randall after William dies? When he says William “was soft armrests for weary souls to lean on?” That’ll give you a “I don’t think I can hold in my emotions anymore, so I go put a dish in the sink so that no one can see my face and briefly let it out before taking a deep breath and heading back to the party” type of cry, you know?
9. Toby Damon
Is he sad? Big time!
But why? He’s clinically depressed and his mother suffers from the same condition. His parents, both before and after they divorced, are pretty terrible. (Parents on this show are either complete disasters or magical angels — there is no in-between.) His own divorce was not kind to him. His son was born premature, and that’s insanely scary. He is not nor ever will be Jack Pearson. He loses his job in the middle of the pandemic and is completely demoralized by it. Oh, and now we know for sure that his second marriage is not long for this world!
Okay, but is he the saddest? In the present-day timeline, he’s trying his best to be optimistic. In the future, he looks like the saddest boy
8. Jack Pearson
Is he sad? Jaaaaaaaaaack!
But why? Jack has had some shitty things happen to him: His dad, all the Nicky stuff, the horrors of Vietnam in general. Jack has also done some shitty things: Hidden his alcoholism from his wife, been dismissive of his wife, gotten insanely possessive of his wife even though that musician guy was in no way a threat, bought a house without asking, ran back into a fire, exchanged a really great mustache for a terrible goatee, etc. Because of all of these things, we know that Jack is much sadder than he lets on, even when he’s voguing.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No. He genuinely loves his life despite some of the things he’s suffered … which in turn makes me sadder than I felt just a minute ago. Nobody wins on This Is Us, not even the audience.
7. Cassidy Sharp
Is she sad? A non-Pearson this close to the top? Wow, yes.
But why?: Cassidy is a Marine who comes home from her latest tour suffering intense PTSD. She is an alcoholic, is unemployed, and ends up slapping her son. Her marriage is falling apart. Her life is falling apart. She maybe laughs, like, once in the time we know her? AT THE VERY LEAST, when we last see her, after becoming friends and AA buddies with Kevin and Nicky, she works up the courage to attempt to fix her family. But also, she sleeps with Kevin and is possibly having feelings for him? It’s all very complicated!
Okay, but is she the saddest?: No, but she does have to explain how Amazon.com “works” to an adult human being, and after everything she has done in her life, that’s gotta be a tough pill to swallow.
6. Kate Pearson
Is she sad? YEESH.
But why? Look, we know you think you murdered your dad because you were obsessed with your dog and your dad was obsessed with making you happy. We get it. That moment has completely defined Kate’s life up to the time we meet her in the pilot. Not to mention, she already had both body and mommy issues before Jack died. She was walking around with a lot of sadness even before marrying Toby, who is A LOT. their path to parenthood is a struggle AND THEN, just as she begins to build a real relationship with her mother, she learns that Rebecca has dementia and is quickly fading away. But! There is light! Kate begins to bet on herself, gets a job as an assistant music teacher, in which she thrives, and confronts the demons of her past (fuck you, Marc!!) head-on so that she can move forward. We now know that she ends up divorcing Toby (sad!), but then she ends up marrying — gasp! — mean Phillip (happy!!)!
Okay, but is she the saddest? We still do not have visual confirmation of Kate in the future, so I do wonder if she’ll be making a last-minute play for the top spot.
5. Kevin Pearson
Is he sad? What a twist! While Kev’s very sad siblings get pushed back on the list, No. 1 seems to be aiming right for the top slot. He is so sad!!
But why? Like his father, Kevin’s adept at hiding how sad he actually is, but when he can’t hide it any longer, hoooo boy. He has felt left out and ignored his entire life, which made him a grade-A dick a lot of time, and he has lingering guilt from the fact that his last conversation with his dad was a fight in which Kevin insulted his entire existence. All of this has made his attempts to get sober and not totally fuck up his life extra hard. He’s sincerely trying to make the best of things, but continues to get beat down by life: see both “tanking his career” and “getting jilted at the (almost) altar.” No wonder he can’t help expressing his complex emotional issues by screaming things at people on front lawns.
Okay, but is he the saddest? There are sadder people on this show, but Kevin makes me personally feel the saddest out of everyone.
4. William Hill
Is he sad? On his deathbed, William tells Randall that people may think his life is sad, but he doesn’t. The two best things in his life were the person at the beginning and the person at the end, and I’m crying again.
But why? William is the kindest, sweetest soul, but after his mother dies he gets involved with drugs and everything falls apart: He never goes back to Memphis to build a music career, (he thinks!) his girlfriend dies giving birth to his son (this being a misunderstanding actually makes it way sadder), who he then leaves at a fire station, and it takes years before he gets clean. And then he gets cancer. But! He is reunited with his son and meets his grandchildren before he dies, and he knows how special that is.
Okay, but is he the saddest? No, because he finds joy in unexpected places. (Remember how happy he is to drive Randall’s car? And that he talks to the mailman?) But I still think I need to go lie down in the dark for a while.
3. Nicky Pearson
Is he sad? Hold me, please.
But why?: I didn’t think This Is Us could get sadder and then they told the story of Jack’s not-so-dead younger brother, Nicky. The Vietnam War completely destroys the sensitive, kind Nicky: He’s a shell of a person even before he gets high and accidentally causes an explosion that kills a young Vietnamese boy and forces Jack to cut Nicky out of his life for good. Nicky spends the rest of his days alone, giving up on everyone in his life, including his onetime great love Sally, and not dealing with his crippling addiction or the guilt that has consumed him. AND THEN his nephews and niece come knocking on his trailer door to inform him that his brother died almost 20 years ago and he’ll never get to mend that relationship. Pardon me, I need to go cry while sitting on the shower floor because I don’t even have the strength to stand up anymore.
Okay, but is he the saddest?: IF ONLY. Nicky used to hold the top spot because OF COURSE HE DID, but since then we’ve learned that Nicky does form a bond with Kevin, gets sober, and introduces the tradition of Thanksgiving Shrimp to the Pearsons and the world, and thanks to some flash-forwards, we know he eventually gets married! That’s a real turn of events for this endearing curmudgeon.
2. Rebecca Pearson
Is she sad? Have you met her?
But why? Her parents were awful, her singing career never panned out, she lost a son in childbirth, her angel husband died in a horrifyingly tragic way and now she can never eat candy bars again, she willingly gave up a chance to hook up with Dave Annable (and for what), she kept a secret from her beloved son for 36 years and then had to face the consequences for that, she had to make a tearful apology while wearing a plastic fedora, and oh yes, she then gets diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and it basically/temporarily tears her family apart. It makes sense that she constantly walks around looking like she wants to curl up in the fetal position and call it a day.
Okay, but is she the saddest?: Alzheimer’s?! After everything? The woman has a husband who thinks the perfect movie to take her mind off things is Borat, and she gets saddled with Alzheimer’s?! I have seen enough! And yet, still, she is slightly edged out from the top spot … for now.
1. Laurel
Is she sad? DEAR LORD, THIS WOMAN’S LIFE.
But why? Well, we can start with the loss of her older brother — one of two people she actually felt loved by — in the Vietnam War. Or we could just jump to her having to leave behind the man she loved to escape her father’s rules. Or her drug addiction. Or, you know, the time she gave birth and then overdosed and was presumed dead, and her boyfriend gave up their child because he was too scared to raise him alone. We could just skip to the fact that she wasn’t dead and then gets lost in the prison system for five years. There’s also that whole thing when she gets out of prison and is so broken and so guilt-ridden that she doesn’t think she deserves to even look for her child. Sure, she eventually reunites with her first great love, but, oh what do you know — they only have two years together because she is dying of breast cancer and she never gets to tell her son that she loved him. Does any of that answer your question?
Okay, but is she the saddest? Yes! She is! Her story is almost too sad for this show, which, if you have made it to the end of this ranking, you know is saying something!
