CNN Anchor Forced to Endure Terror of Doing Math on Live TV

While your high-school statistics teacher gives you telepathic side-eye from across the country, Bill Weir faced just about every anchor’s worst fear while reporting live for CNN on Thursday night: With several key race alerts coming in from Arizona about the presidential election, Weir was forced to improvise on-air math with nothing more than a pencil, a notepad, and a tight black T-shirt. (For some context on CNN, this came after Anderson Cooper called the president an obese turtle.) “Just doing quick math,” he told viewers about new Copacabana Maricopa County vote counts. “I’m trying to do the math here.” Weir did just fine, but not before admitting on social media afterward that he “pooped a little.” See, this wouldn’t have happened if there was a nonprofit organization to give anchors free TI-84 calculators.