In a time of crippling uncertainty and anxiety, a clear-eyed voice has emerged from the chaos to deliver a verdict we can all feel okay about: Michael B. Jordan as People’s Sexiest Man Alive. Unseating 2019’s Sexiest Man, John Legend, Jordan told People that receiving the title is “a cool feeling,” adding that the women in his family “are definitely proud of this one.” The news was revealed on Jordan’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! appearance last night. “You know, everybody always made that joke, like, ‘Mike, this is the one thing you’re probably not going to get,’” Jordan told People. “But it’s a good club to be a part of.” Other members of that club include Dwayne Johnson, Chris Hemsworth, Idris Elba, Adam Levine, Channing Tatum, and David Beckham. Reaction on social media to Jordan’s new title was swift and positive. People has clearly elected to spare us the upsets of previous years to deliver an uncontroversial choice for Sexiest Man in this decidedly unsexy time, and for that we can only thank them.
Update, Wednesday November 18 at 9:15 a.m.: Here’s how you know Michael B. Jordan deserves to be Sexiest Man Alive. When he grew out his quarantine mustache a couple of months ago, he somehow got even more attractive. And he knows it. The Journal for Jordan actor spilled his plans to monetize the mustache thirst while celebrating his new title on Jimmy Kimmel Live! “His name is Murphy, Murph for short,” he introduced the world to his mustache. “He’s got an OnlyFans coming soon. Eating fruit, all kinds of crazy stuff, it’s gonna get wild.” Kimmel definitely thought he was joking, but the people’s sexiest man insisted he had a plan to use the money for good. “I’m actually gonna start one, but all the proceeds I want to go to a barber school because during the quarantine there’s been so many businesses and schools that have been shut down,” he explained his charitable vision. Frankly, he had us at “eating fruit.”