If your mom takes everything you do (or, more importantly, don’t do) personally, you better believe she’s not going to stop now because of some dumb ol’ quarantine. In this week’s Saturday Night Live sketch “The Christmas Conversation,” Chloe Fineman, Ego Nwodim, and Lauren Holt find themselves standing within blast radius after informing their respective mothers, played by Kate McKinnon, Punkie Johnson, and Heidi Gardner, that they won’t be traveling home for the holidays, due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic. “If you don’t love me, Marie, just say so. I didn’t raise a coward,” McKinnon’s character says.
“I guess since you won’t be coming, I’ll just throw your stocking in the fire,” Heidi’s devastated mother concludes, before going through a box of her daughter’s high-school accolades. “Look at that. Your first track meet. Remember how fast you were? How fast you were when you ran away from me, halfway across the country, to Chicago? Should I get rid of it? Great.”
Of course, it could be worse. Your parents could decide to fly to you. “Daddy will wear his racquet ball goggles to keep the virus out of my eyes. How about that?,” Jason Bateman’s dad enthuses. Ah, but then where will Sophie and Bob go to have an intimate, mask-free holiday with two elderly people? Could their kid maybe give them a call and shut that plan down, too?