We all know that in the world of fast food, nothing’s a hotter sell than low-carb bowls. Just ask Shawn Mendes. Even Subway has pivoted to protein bowls, and they look like salads of loose meat. On what may be the bravest topical sketch of last night’s Saturday Night Live, Beck Bennett and John Krasinski play a couple of old suits who are confronted with the madness of Subway protein bowls and respond with even more madness. Wearing ties last seen on Niles Crane in 1993, Rocky (Krasinski) and Dino (Bennett) have “a lot of new sandwich ideas for sandwiches,” and they warn the new kid (Andrew Dismukes) that they “don’t do burritahs around here, we do sammiches, kid.” Right off the bat, you get what these characters are about. As soon as Dismukes reveals the actual, official Subway protein bowl photography, Dino’s first reaction is, “you got brain damage?” and Rocky asks, “so this like a fetish I don’t know about? You get off on watching people eat a bowl of ham?” But the pair’s big idea for Subway is the only thing even worse than cold meat bowls: Bring back Jared. By the time they get to firing off a completely incomprehensible Subway jingle, the whole sketch is basically what if the Oh, Hello guys went corporate? The fact that they use the NYU Student Center building for their Subway corporate exterior shot at the end of the sketch is the cherry on the bowl of meat.