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You Really Don’t Want to Know What Will Forte Kept From His Daughter’s Birth

Will Forte made a lifesaving invention out of household materials, thanks to his newborn daughter, Zoe, whose birth he announced to the world on his Monday night Conan appearance. At 50, Forte realizes that his age is “pretty old for fathers” to welcome a first child, so he’s reverting back to his pack-rat tendencies to savor all of his parental rites of passages — even if that means, yes, salvaging his daughter’s first diaper from the hospital. “My fiancée was like, ‘You’re super gross. There’s no way we’re saving the diaper.’ So I finally convinced her, ‘What if we saved it to give as a good practical joke to a friend? A close friend?’” he explained, hazardous-waste bag in hand. “She begrudgingly agreed that it would be a good joke to give to somebody as a present.” Oh, but what if his friend has a more refined, L’Astname sense of humor? “If they don’t want that, maybe they’d want her umbilical chord.”

Oh God, What Did Will Forte Keep From His Daughter’s Birth?