Stephen Colbert’s “Colbert Questionert,” a series of questions he asks major stars so they can truly be “known,” has been one of the highlights of pandemic-era The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. The questions range from mundane (“Apples or oranges?”) to existential (“What happens after we die?”), but they always start off with Colbert asking guests the same opener: “Best sandwich?” On Friday, April 30, Ringo Starr answered that first question in the most depressingly British way possible: “Cheese.” Just a cheese sandwich? “Yeah, I love cheese,” Starr confirms. But then things take a turn when he says that nowadays, he’s limited to goat cheese, because “I don’t eat anything from the cow.” Avoiding cow-based dairy is common for many people for a variety of reasons, lactose intolerance and concerns over methane being the main ones. But for Starr, it’s “because the molecules are so big.” Really. The “Octopus’s Garden” writer’s scientific reasoning behind why it’s bad to consume big cow molecules is, “Have you seen a cow?” Colbert is flummoxed. Starr explains: “The molecules are so big, and that’s why you can drink a glass of milk, you’re full,” whereas, “with a goat, it’s a good size for our bodies.” This is an absolutely galaxy-brained take, so esoteric it’s genius. Ringo Starr should start his own Goop where he just sells products made of small molecules. Honestly, we’re sold.