bachelor nation

Katie Thurston’s Bachelorette Contestants Unionized to Send This Schmuck Home

This must have been what our friends at The New Yorker felt like a few days ago. On Monday night’s Bachelorette episode, an astounding thing unfolded during Kate Thurston’s rose ceremony, even by the franchise’s dumb standards of drama: Led by gym owner Mike P., the entire body of contestants joined together to let Thurston know that fellow contestant Karl, an alleged “motivational speaker,” is an ass who’s totally on the show for all the wrong reasons. “This isn’t something that we want to do right now, because of what you’ve gone through,” Mike P. told her after receiving a rose. “But we feel as a unit it’s our job to protect your heart, and we’ve come together in solidarity and we think that, unfortunately, what Karl said wasn’t the truth. As a unit, we really feel that’s what you need to hear.” Welcome, comrades! If you recall from the last episode, Karl decided to speculate random shit about the other men to mess with Thurston’s head, confirming Vulture’s theory that every Karl we know is destined to ruin a good party.

So, anyway. Thurston, understandably, was taken aback by this random act of collective bargaining from her group of 20 contestants, and needed a few moments to compose herself before solidifying her decision to send Karl home. The men are ecstatic; Karl is snubbed on the way out; celebratory Champagne is consumed. We love union recognition! Give us a rose next.

Bachelorette Contestants Unionized to Send This Schmuck Home