One “small step for man” right towards a capitalist hellscape. The brand-new teaser for Jon Stewart’s upcoming Apple TV+ show, The Problem With Jon Stewart, doesn’t tell us much about the series, but it is a pretty decent recap of the billionaire space race. The teaser is actually a movie trailer sketch for what they call Cum Dog Billionaires. (Dev Patel, we are so sorry.) Amazon C.E.O. Jeff Bezos, played by Jason Alexander (Seinfeld), sets out to be the first billionaire in space with a penis-shaped rocket. “Not enough!” Bezos yells at his scientists. “Not short enough. Not wide enough! Not enough! You know who else had a chode? Galileo!” Many dick jokes later, Elon Musk played by Adam Pally, Richard Branson played by a mop, and Mark Zuckerberg, introducing a stray cat, join him in their own phallic rocket ships because whether it’s a spoof or real life, hoarding your wealth makes you deeply predictable. Case in point: The Problem head writer Chelsea Devantez tweeted that they filmed Alexander as Bezos wearing a cowboy hat “weeks” before the real Bezos showed up to launch wearing one. Yeah, we’re supposed to be laughing, but isn’t it just kind of sad that this is our reality? “Ha-ha” jokes to come; The Problem With Jon Stewart is officially set for September 2021.