Before last night, Natalie Portman was the reigning queen of a genre I made up just now called “horror dance,” or dancing with the intent to scare. Portman dominated the field in Black Swan and Annihilation. Dakota Johnson in Suspiria and Rihanna in the “Disturbia” music video are also accomplished purveyors of the form. But last night on Dancing With the Stars, NBA player Iman Shumpert and his partner, dancer Daniella Karagach, cemented themselves as the gold medalists of horror dancing. As part of the competition series’ Halloween-themed Horror Night, Shumpert and Karagach performed a contemporary number inspired by Jordan Peele’s Us. Dressed as Tethereds, Shumpert and Karagach totally embody and elevate those characters’ eerie physicality, crawling around to the movie’s creepy “I Got 5 on It” remix. It’s an athletic performance that involves Shumpert whipping Karagach around millimeters from the floor like they’re in the X Games for ballroom dancing. There’s even a literal jump scare. The duo got a perfect 40 out of 40 from the judges.
And whichever one of you witches summoned “Jojo Siwa in Pennywise drag dancing to a haunting remix of ‘Anything Goes’” into existence … you’ve grown too powerful.