Presidents’ Day weekend is like the hangover of holidays. All the fun already happened in December and January. Presidents’ Day isn’t even the main holiday of February! Still, you might have a long weekend because of it, so it’s as good a time as ever to chill out and cure that holiday hangover with a nice three-day weekend of watching, streaming, and catch-up.
Movies (in Theaters)
Death on the Nile
Death on the Nile doesn’t have enough fun to exactly fill the Nile, but you know what it does have? It has a mini-prequel about why Detective Poirot has a mustache, Gal Gadot exclaiming the blatant lie “enough Champagne to fill the Nile!” and a lot of actors with wonky accents and stellar wardrobes.
Drive My Car
Drive My Car has become the sneaky hit of awards season, even speeding its way to a Best Picture nomination. Use the long weekend to bask in the three-hour beauty and watch it in theaters. (Though, if you want to wait, it’ll become widely available to stream March 2 on HBO Max.)
Age is but a number; Jackass’s immaturity is forever. Johnny Knoxville returns with an excess of brutal, cheeky, and ill-advised stunts in Jackass Forever. It may be over 20 years since Jackass premiered on MTV, but Knoxville and crew are still going at it.
Marry Me is a spiritual experience, so much so that Jennifer Lopez opens the film singing a three-minute song with the main lyric being “church” repeated over and over again. Throw in Owen Wilson as her love interest chosen from the crowd of a concert (no joke) and you have yourself a fever dream of a romantic comedy.
I haven’t seen Uncharted or even played the game, but from the trailers alone, I can only assume this movie will be exactly like Spider-Man: No Way Home — if you swapped the New York City CGI with oceans and airplane CGI and instead of Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire you get Mark Wahlberg. Pick your poison!
The Worst Person in the World
Babes, if you’re looking for a movie to completely wreck you, then here you go. The Worst Person in the World is actually the perfect movie to watch on a long weekend because if you time your viewing just right, you’ll then have 3 full days to recover from the emotional damage caused by director Joachim Trier and Renate Reinsve.
Penélope Cruz, Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, Fan Bingbing, and Diane Kruger walk into an action movie and will probably give you an interesting wine-buzzed Saturday night. After debuting in theaters in January, The 355 is already making its way to streaming this weekend.
I Want You Back
Maybe for Valentine’s weekend your movie focus was on J.Lo, which is understandable, but if you want another rom-com as a chaser to Marry Me, try I Want You Back. Charlie Day and Jenny Slate star as two strangers who bond over their breakups and plan to scheme their way back to their respective relationships.
Steven Soderbergh’s latest film for HBO Max is a compelling little thriller about an agoraphobic tech worker (Zoë Kravitz) who discovers evidence of a mysterious crime thanks to Kimi, an Alexa-like virtual assistant. A great film to watch before going electronics sale shopping for Presidents’ Day.
Guillermo Del Toro’s sleek and grimy noir didn’t make a huge splash in theaters, but hopefully streaming will give it a wider audience. Starring Bradley Cooper as a lowly carney turned shifty mentalist, Nightmare Alley may not be Del Toro’s best, but Cooper, Cate Blanchett, and company still make you squirm.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is hoping to slay another day. While the hype around this (yet another) legacy sequel has been quite tepid, the latest swing at the franchise could be just a fun, trashy late-night watch.
Ah, Titane. If you’re like me, you’ve avoided Julia Ducournau’s gut-punching thriller despite all the great buzz because you’re scared. I want to watch it! But on my own terms, in the comfort of my own home, where I can anxiously grip my remote to possibly mute whenever the body-horror and metal-grinding action gets to be too much.
Love Is Blind Season 2
A three-day weekend is a time to relax, and there’s truly no better way to shut your brain up than watching some ridiculous reality television. Remember the cusp of time right before the pandemic where we were all glued to Love Is Blind? It’s almost nostalgic to dive back into this series.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 4
Che Diaz, move over! Midge Maisel is coming back to be the prime comedian of the New York scene. Gone are the ’50s, as the bubbly Amazon series starts its new season in 1960, where Midge tries to find the perfect gig. If only there were podcasts in the ’60s.
James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad spinoff is raunchy, hilarious, and mean with a tender sweet streak. It’s basically everything Deadpool thinks it is but so much more satisfying. I was late to this series, but oh boy, is it so much fun to catch up on. What’s a better way to celebrate Presidents’ Day than to dedicate a weekend to peace?
Our TV critic Roxana Hadidi already deemed Severance one of the best series of the year so far. The workplace drama with a thrilling, unnerving spin — that spin being employees opt(?) for a procedure that splits their work and personal memories — stars Adam Scott, Patricia Arquette, and John Turturro and is directed by Ben Stiller. The series will be released weekly, but you can burn through the first two episodes this weekend.