world domination

Disney Wants You to Live (and Die?) in Its New Master-Planned Desert Community

Photo: Pixar/YouTube

Little town, it’s a quiet village. Every day like the one before. Little town, full of little people, waking up …

to …


“The Walt Disney Company today announced plans to introduce Storyliving by Disney, vibrant new neighborhoods that are infused with the Company’s special brand of magic. These master-planned communities are intended to inspire residents to foster new friendships, pursue their interests and write the next exciting chapter in their lives.”

Yes, Disney is going back to its roots and returning to the business of building whole-ass neighborhoods. Remember: EPCOT stands for “Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow,” and Walt Disney was in the feverish throes of planning it out as an entire city when he died. Decades later, the company built the town of Celebration, Florida. Today, Disney announced that it is building a “Storyliving by Disney community” in Rancho Mirage, California, and that “additional locations in the U.S. are under exploration for future development.”

Disney Imagineers will help design these sub-developments, and this first effort “will welcome homeowners of all ages and will include at least one section expressly for 55+ residents” and a “voluntary club membership” with exclusive Disney programming. So basically it’s a homeowners association for Disney adults, along with a Disney-themed and -operated retirement community where people who line up for Figment popcorn buckets can live out the rest of their days. This first community will be called “Cotino,” a fancy-sounding Spanish-ish word that signifies nothing. Disney is building Cotino in collaboration with DMB Development, a company whose name implies the existence of a Dave Matthews Band–themed neighborhood somewhere.

The press release includes concept art of public spaces including a clubhouse, beachfront, and shopping district. If you look at the shopping-district picture you can make out a restaurant in the background called “Pietro’s,” perhaps a hint that there will be Disney/Marvel/Star Wars IP scattered throughout. Might we also suggest a brunch spot called “I Need! Six Eggs!”?

There isn’t any concept art of the homes themselves, but we assume Jeremy Renner will build them all by hand as part of his Disney+ show Rennervations, and that every kitchen will come with a personal rat chef. And hey, if Storyliving has a relaxed vaccination policy, maybe Shailene Woodley and Aaron Rodgers will someday call it home.

Disney Wants You to Live (and Die?) in its Planned Community