bad beauty lab friend

John Mayer Thinks He’s a Better Friend Than Lisa Barlow

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos by Getty Images

Today has turned into an incredible day for Vulture reader Andy Cohen. Down at the Beauty Lab in Salt Lake City conference (actually, just at the Hollywood Walk of Fame), the Bravo qween became the latest celebrity to get a coveted medal star on a piece of cement for his work in television — specifically with Bravo’s Housewives franchises. The biggest surprise of the day, however, wasn’t Andy Cohen (surprise!), but retro weirdo John Mayer who was present to honor Cohen’s achievement with a speech that shook Taco Bells across the globe (Utah).

“He’s also my friend, my dear friend,” he said, standing atop a podium. “And there are times in life when you just need a friend you can count on. For example! [Pause.] When Homeland Security shows up at the Beauty Lab and Laser parking lot and your friend’s life is suddenly in shambles, will you be a Heather Gay? Or … a Lisa Barlow.” The crowd yelled, Andy gasped. Mayer finished his ode: “Andy is forever … a Heather Gay.” Subtle claps echoed, Andy got gooped, and we can only assume Mayer will never receive Fresh Wolf conditioner.

John Mayer Thinks He’s a Better Friend Than Lisa Barlow