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What If Every Movie Was Named After a Beatles Song?

Drive My Car. Photo: Janus Films

What lessons can other filmmakers learn from the success of Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s Drive My Car? Is it that programmers need not fear the three-hour run time? Is it that critics really do influence the Oscars? Or is it that naming your movie after a Beatles song is a foolproof cinematic good-luck charm? (The film is based on a short story by Haruki Murakami, whose work makes frequent allusions to the Fab Four.) Hamaguchi’s movie joins a proud lineage of projects that take their titles from the Beatles’ discography, including 1978’s I Wanna Hold Your Hand, 1987’s Can’t Buy Me Love, and 1990’s Misery. Of course, the percentage of films named after a Beatles song pales in comparison to those that are not — but what if the ratio was a little more even? Can you even … imagine? (We’re not doing solo work here.)

Below, find my best attempt to rename every movie I could think of with a new title drawn from the work of John, Paul, George, and Ringo.

On Chesil Beach (2018) → Please Please Me

The Vanishing (1988) → I Saw Her Standing There

Source Code (2011) → It Won’t Be Long

Vertigo (1958) → If I Fell

The Terminator (1984) → I’ll Be Back

Loser (2000) → I’m a Loser

Primer (2003) → Eight Days a Week

Krisha (2015) → I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party

Victor/Victoria (1982) → She’s a Woman

The Shallows (2016) → Help!

Brokeback Mountain (2005) → You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away

Margaret (2011) → I’ve Just Seen a Face

Memento (2000) → Yesterday

127 Hours (2010) → I’m Down

I Am Curious (Yellow) (1967) → Norwegian Wood

The Invisible Man (2020) → I’m Looking Through You

Inception (2010) I’m Only Sleeping

Bombshell (2019) → She Said She Said

Identity (2003) → Rain

Osmosis Jones (2001) → Within You Without You

Lady Bird (2017) → She’s Leaving Home

Yesterday (2019) → Fixing a Hole

Groundhog Day (1993) → A Day in the Life

Breaking Away (1979) → With a Little Help From My Friends

The Marriage of Maria Braun (1978) → Baby, You’re a Rich Man

Tusk (2014) → I Am the Walrus

Love Actually (2003) → All You Need Is Love

Smooth Talk (1985) → Your Mother Should Know

Evita (1996) → Lady Madonna

Into the Wild (2007) → Mother Nature’s Son

Sixteen Candles (1985) → Birthday

I Shot Andy Warhol (1996) → Happiness Is a Warm Gun

Insomnia (2002) → I’m So Tired

Aladdin (1992) → Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey

Julie & Julia (2009) → Julia

Lean on Pete (2017) → Dig a Pony

Holes (2003) → Dig It

My Octopus Teacher (2020) → Octopus’s Garden

The Queen (2006) → Her Majesty

The Passion of the Christ (2004) → Carry That Weight

Melancholia (2011) → The End

Also, Elizabethtown should have been called Rubber Soul.

What If Every Movie Was Named After a Beatles Song?