Things Nancy Pelosi, a poem via Bono, and Riverdance did? … Too much. Earlier on March 17 — which is also St. Patrick’s Day, mama — the Speaker of the House (and serial clapper) announced she would read a poem from the noted U2 critic, and yes, she capital-D delivered. “I got this message this morning from Bono,” she began. “And for most of us, whether we’re in Ireland or here or whatever it is, Bono has been a very Irish part of our lives.” Finally, she read it. “He said this,” Pelosi began again. “‘Oh, Saint Patrick, he drove out the snakes [me, Wolfgang, in the crowd: “Yasss, snakes!”] / With his prayers, but that’s not all it takes.’” Pelosi went on, rhyming away and mentioning “smoke” and “our hearts” and some “evil” and the “saints.” “Kim, there’s people that are dying right now” vibes.
“‘Ireland’s sorrow and pain / Is now the Ukraine,’” Miss Nancy continued. “’And Saint Patrick’s name now Zelenskyy.’” Following the climax of the “poem,” Pelosi waited for like two seconds for people in the room to process what she’d just read until they simultaneously said “Ah!” “How about that,” she said under her mic before turning to a priest: “What, you like that, father?” This entire video is nine minutes 12 seconds, and you know the Speaker of the House of Giving Nothing wouldn’t make it painless. Pelosi also introduced … Riverdance.
For nearly seven minutes, C-Span transported Pelosi, the people in that room, and all of us watching from Twitter into a metaverse containing a lip-sync that’s actually just people dancing an Irish jig, a solo tap-dance that has ASMR shook, and one simple question: What? The best part, though, is Pelosi isn’t even wearing green! Rude!