that'll glue pig

How Long Do You Need to Be Glued to a Starbucks Counter to Effect Real Milk Change?

Photo-Illustration: Vulture. Photos: Charles Sykes/Invision/AP/Shutterstock; Ollo/Getty Images

Succession’s James Cromwell glued himself to a Starbucks counter in Midtown New York to protest the cost of non-dairy milk alternatives at Starbucks. How long does it one have to remain glued to the counter to effect change? It’s gotta be the length of at least two Succession episodes. Three? So far, half an episode (about 30 minutes, according to a livestream) is all Cromwell has pulled off. And now that Cromwell, who has previously been arrested for protesting SeaWorld and a New York Energy company, is unglued, we are wondering how this would have played out on the show. Would Cousin Greg (Nicholas Braun) get wrapped up in his Uncle Ewan’s cause and end up glued down for hours, if not days, angrily tweeting at Greenpeace UK to come help him out because he doesn’t realize this is more of a PETA thing? Is Roman Roy (Kiernan Culkin) amusingly perched on the counter in one of his quirky sits? Starbucks did ultimately release a statement that all but promised it would not lower its prices for milk alternatives. The Roys probably would’ve just sent a succinct “Fuck off.”

How Long Do You Need to Be Glued to Effect Real Milk Change?