A celebrity wedding inspires a certain kind of voyeurism, watching the superrich, super-connected truly go all out. Well, usually anyway. But not at the celebrity wedding of the year, when Britney Spears married Sam Asghari. It was a remarkably normie affair, full of wedding beats that looked awfully, well, familiar to plebians like the rest of us. Because don’t forget, before she’s a superstar, she’s a Louisiana girl! Let’s run through the details of this down-home ceremony, largely according to Vogue:
➽ Spears got married at home in Los Angeles in front of an intimate crowd of around 60 (and thousands of pink roses).
➽ Like half the girls you went to high school with, Spears arrived with Asghari via horse-drawn carriage.
➽ The wedding lasted around ten minutes — because, well, who doesn’t want to get to partying?
➽ Spears took off her heels when she hit the dance floor, like all brides want to. She even put on her glasses as the night wore on. That’s representation.
➽ Spears and Asghari didn’t have a first dance, but she wasted no time getting down with her friends. She danced with Madonna and Selena Gomez to “Toxic” and sang “Stars Are Blind” with Paris Hilton. At one point, Madonna, Hilton, Gomez, Drew Barrymore, and more even belted out a bit of “Vogue.” All songs bound to come up at any (good) wedding, regardless of whether the performers are there.
➽ Kathy Hilton commandeered a mic at one point. Don’t we all have that one friend’s parent?
➽ When Spears and Asghari drove off for the night, the guests sent them off with — what else? — sparklers.
Sure, Spears wore Versace and changed into three different looks at the reception. And sure, you’ve probably never been to a wedding with Madonna and Paris Hilton. And okay, yeah, none of your friends’ houses look quite like that. But wealth aside, Spears’s wedding felt more like, well, your cousin’s. The whole thing doubled as a celebration of the end of Spears’s conservatorship — she got engaged to Asghari shortly before it ended last September. Spears has talked about wanting a more normal life post-conservatorship, from being able to drive to having kids, and judging by her wedding, she’s now been enjoying it. And also judging by her wedding, she’s been a closet Pinterest lurker this whole time.
Update, Saturday, June 11: Britney has completed her bridal duties by tweeting her post-wedding thoughts. “Wow !!! Holy holy crap !!! WE DID IT !!! WE GOT MARRIED,” Spears tweeted on Friday evening, “I was so nervous all morning but then at 2:00 pm it really hit me … WE’RE GETTING MARRIED.” She went on to thank “the crew who created our home into literally a dream castle,” and shouted out Barrymore, Gomez, Madonna, Donatella Versace, and Hilton.