we not humping (remix)

Harry Styles Won’t Have Explicit Gay Sex Scenes in My Policeman

Harry Styles (also not having explicit gay sex here). Photo: Dave J Hogan/Getty Images

The only type of pig Harry Styles will be in his upcoming film is a cop. In a Vanity Fair first look for his new film My Policeman, in which he plays a closeted officer having an illegal love affair, director Michael Grandage says he wanted to “quite literally show something that was about ‘lovemaking’ in the broadest sense of the word, something that was choreographically interesting and not just some kind of thrusting sense of sex going on.” He was inspired by Alain Renais’s 1959 film Hiroshima Mon Amour, which has “very sculptural” body language. All this talk about “lovemaking” instead of sex, and how they didn’t want to be “prurient,” leaves the impression that they actually just don’t want to show gay sex. Except that’s never happened with a gay film starring straight actors before, has it?

Duh, of course it has. These quotes are remarkably similar to director Luca Guadagnino’s response to the lack of explicit sex scenes in his 2017 film Call Me by Your Name. “I wasn’t interested at all,” said Guadagnino in a Hollywood Reporter article at the time. “The tone would’ve been very different from what I was looking for.” Peach? Yes! Actual gay sex? [Line disconnects.] But with the romantic comedies Fire Island (which includes multiple gay orgies) and Bros (which has butts in the trailer) out, these stoic period dramas are falling behind the times. Bring on the pumping!

Harry Styles Won’t Have Explicit Gay Sex in My Policeman