Fade in on a girl with a hunger for fame and a face and a name you’ll remember. The past fades away because as of this day, Ana de Armas is gone, she’s Marilyn Monroe. Her smile and your fantasies play a duet that will make you forget where you are. The music starts playing — it’s a trailercore sound mix on “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.” Let her be your star!
Flashback to a girl with a song in her heart as she’s waiting to star in the Monroe biopic Blonde, coming out September 28 on Netflix. The fire and drive that make dreams come alive, they fill her soul, she’s in control. The drama, the laughter, the tears just like pearls, well, they’re all in this minute-long trailer. It’s all for the taking. It’s a screenplay based on a book by professional tweeter Joyce Carol Oates making … Ana de Armas a star!
She’ll just have to forget the hurt that came before, forget what used to be. Kim Kardashian’s archival dress is on the cutting-room floor. The future is here with Ana de Armas! [Key change.] Choose Ana de Armas!
Okay, we’re dropping the terrible Smash tribute to let you know that the full trailer trailer is out, this time with Bobby Cannavale as “the ex-athlete” and Adrien Brody as “the playwright” (these are the character names on IMDb, but history knows otherwise). “I can’t face doing another scene with Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn doesn’t exist,” says de Armas, a single tear on her face. “When I come out of my dressing room, I’m Norma Jean. I’m still her when the camera’s rolling.” Also seen in the trailer: Monroe crashing her car into a tree like it’s a Scion tC going 100 miles her hour.
This post has been updated.