Yellowjackets star Juliette Lewis has had a complicated relationship with her character, Natalie, from the beginning. Lewis previously shared that it was difficult to play the self-destructive character — especially as Natalie devolved with each episode. But as she entered season two and gained more insight to Natalie’s thought process, Lewis’s own outlook became more hopeful. “I wanted to see a different dimension, obviously, because she went as low as one could go with a gun in her mouth,” she told Vulture at the Yellowjackets season-two Hollywood premiere. “The show creators and myself had both coincidentally seen a documentary about a man who jumped off a bridge that no one survives but he survived it. He does TED Talks about what his thoughts were midair of Oh, shit, I don’t want to do this. Oh, no, I made a mistake,” said Lewis. “So somewhere within Natalie, now that she’s landed in the care of older Lottie at a compound, she’s seeking truth. She’s seeking answers to what happened and redemption. She’s not medicating, so she’s wide open to figuring out life, which is unusual for that type of person.” Learn more about what happens to Natalie in Lottie’s compound in Yellowjackets season two, streaming on Showtime this Friday and airing on TV on Sunday.