keeping it classy

Concertgoer Allegedly Orgasms While L.A. Philharmonic Plays Tchaikovsky’s 5th

Walt Disney Concert Hall. Photo: Shutterstock

Concert halls are no classy establishments. An audience member reportedly let out a “loud full body orgasm” during the Los Angeles Philharmonic’s performance of Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 5 on April 28 at Walt Disney Concert Hall, thereby proving our point. “I saw the girl after it had happened, and I assume that she … had an orgasm because she was heavily breathing, and her partner was smiling and looking at her — like in an effort to not shame her,” concertgoer Molly Grant told the Los Angeles Times, describing the sound as a “scream/moan” that shook the House of Mouse–sponsored venue. “It was quite beautiful.” The woman’s alleged orgasm became a hot topic on Twitter after multiple people shared their eyewitness accounts of the event, with some claiming the orchestra paused after everyone heard the commotion, though recordings reveal the philharmonic remained professional about the ordeal and kept playing, per the L.A. Times. She reportedly came during the second movement of the symphony and timed it well with the piece’s “romantic swell.” No one really seemed mad about the whole thing. And it makes sense — take away the halls named after billionaires and the typically high-earning audience, and classical music itself is just one big sexual innuendo. Like, sorry: tremolo, pizzicato, andante, pianissimo, forte, and more are simply horny words. The person probably kept it simple and told her man to play her like a violin. She wasn’t doing anything Tchaikovsky wouldn’t have done himself. Lydia Tár is somewhere smiling.

Concertgoer Allegedly Orgasms During Tchaikovsky’s 5th