At this point in Happily Ever After? there’s little room left for surprises or “fun fake versions,” as Jovi puts it. Other than Michael and Angela, these couples are stuck together and need to accept their differences or work through them. Brandon, Jovi, Ronald, and Mike can act shocked at their wives’ new behavior, but the signs were always there. Julia has never wanted the same thing as Brandon. Yara has always been more focused on her home life than strip clubs, even before becoming pregnant. Tiffany has always expected Ronald to support her and their kids. And, well, Natalie hasn’t been able to tell Mike why she loves him since we first met this couple seasons ago.
Even Kalani and Asuelu’s eventual blowup with his family is something we’ve seen before. Even though Asuelu begs them to be on “good behavior,” his sister almost immediately starts asking for money. Tammy starts commenting on Kalani’s parents’ house, because she’s under the impression Asuelu pays for it and must have money (again: he is an Uber driver and they live in Kalani’s parents’ basement). To Kalani’s credit, her family doesn’t escalate anything. Asuelu even stands up for Kalani and his kids and ends the conversation about money like an adult! The conversation that eventually leads to Asuelu tackling his sister ends up being about Asuelu’s desire for another kid instead of money. Kalani has told him she isn’t ready for another baby, and what does he do? Asuelu buys her a baby blanket! This blows up in his face. Kalani gets upset. Asuelu’s family gets upset. A fight erupts before Kalani’s dad can even figure out what’s happening.
Maybe in the moment, Kalani can appreciate Asuelu defending her, but when the storm passes, they’re still going to have issues over the whole baby matter that started the fight. If Asuelu keeps pushing for kids, I don’t see their relationship lasting. It’s the same problem Brandon and Julia have run into. I’ve been saying these two would eventually have to face the truth once they left his parents’ farm, and that’s exactly what happened. Julia dreams of being a stripper mom in the big city, while Brandon wants to slowly build generational wealth on his ancestral farmland. Brandon finally says it: They want different things. Of course this was obvious from the moment Julia said they should sell the family farm, but Brandon seems to be reaching the end of his rope. Julia keeps threatening to leave, and at a certain point, I think he’ll just let her.
Natalie has finally made good on her promise to leave Mike in this episode. Even though Mike still doesn’t really understand why Natalie is always running off to Julia’s house, he still isn’t ready to admit that they should get divorced. Mike’s mom, of course, has no problem calling the situation out. Natalie is a snake in the grass. I don’t think she was desperate to come to America, but she did seem eager to rush into another marriage after her divorce. She thought she could make Mike into the man she really wanted and started saying he was mean to her when she realized she couldn’t change him. I hope this separation is truly the end of this relationship.
Ronald and Tiffany are also still struggling this week, but at least they reach out to get help. Ronald’s uncle is a great therapist and offers simple advice: Ronald needs to share his emotions, support his family, and be a father. Tiffany needs to stop criticizing Ronald and acting like she’s better than him. It’s obvious stuff, but Ronald can’t agree with it because he’s too much of a misogynist. He simply can’t accept that a “female” can “tell a male” what to be. So, as soon as therapy is over, they, of course, start arguing in the parking lot. It’s almost like Tiffany was so distracted by Ronald’s biggest red flags (gambling, addiction), she didn’t notice how sexist he is.
Finally, there’s Jovi and Yara, who make up the best part of this episode. We already know Jovi has been a full-on dipshit since coming back from work, but we haven’t really seen Yara try to compromise yet. In “She’s a Snake in the Grass,” we see how lucky Jovi is to have someone like Yara: Even though she’s uncomfortable with the strip club, she agrees to try it. Jovi agrees they can leave whenever she wants to go. Yara, of course, sticks to her promise and tries to have a good time. She plays along, but eventually she wants to go. It’s easy to understand why a woman who just had a baby might not feel comfortable looking at naked, beautiful women her husband is blowing kisses to. Does Jovi hold up his end of the deal? No. He says he wants to stay and does. He refuses to see Yara’s side of things at all. Even Mrs. Gwen can see that her son is a jackass. Jovi can accuse Yara of hiding behind some “fun” facade, but she’s a mother now. Who she was before doesn’t really matter anymore.
90 Day Notes
• Where is Natalie’s rat? Is Julia letting her move the rat into her house? I will ask this question until TLC addresses the missing rat.
• Libby’s sisters decide to start their own competing real-estate business. I don’t care.
• 2 Minute Mr. Masturbate Michael. 2 Minutes. Anyway, I’m happy for Angela and her new confidence. Even if this whole sperm-by-mail plan is ridiculous, at least she’s being real with Michael.
• Chuck is still under the belief that Andrei needs to work or he’ll get deported. I wonder how he’ll feel when he finds out that’s a lie.
•Natalie really tried to get her stuff and ghost her marriage. Perhaps the communication issue is on her end??