90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?
And we’re back with more 90 Day Fiancé! Apologies for the double feature, but I simply needed more time to ruminate on the audacity of Angela and Andrei. Happily Ever After? is my personal favorite spinoff because it’s the messiest show of the franchise and we don’t have to waste time getting to know new couples. It’s so fun to dive into the familiar muck of Angela and Michael or Libby and Andrei while getting updates on couples we haven’t seen in a while, like Tiffany and Ronald or Asuelu and Kalani. Jovi and Yara and Brandon and Julia successfully made the jump to this franchise too, which makes it pretty much the perfect mix of couples.
Except for Mike and Natalie, of course. If you were already sick of them on 90 Day Fiancé, they don’t offer much more in Happily Ever After. They still hate each other and don’t communicate. The only thing to watch for now is which innocuous comment or moment Natalie will use to bring up some issue she has with Mike. Only Natalie could turn a birthday sushi dinner into a callout over nude photos. After an entire season of Mike being indecisive on 90 Day Fiancé, I was happy to see him finally take a stand and pack his bags. Maybe this will really be the end of their relationship and I’ll never have to write about them again, let’s hope.
Now on to the couples who actually have a chance at something like a “happily” ever after! Angela is the franchise’s biggest personality, which is fair — she’s entertaining, and it’s fun to watch her yell at other couples on Bares All and in the Tell Alls — but when it comes to her actual relationship with Michael, it’s always been hard to watch. Angela is hypocritical, controlling, and rude. There is no world where Angela would allow Michael to flirt with a doctor the way she did! Hell, if Michael even said he wanted to lose weight or work on his body, Angela would probably accuse him of doing it for other women.
We’ve all been waiting years for Michael to finally make it to the U.S., and it seems like it’s finally happening. That’s terrifying. I still don’t think Michael understands the life he has signed up for in America with Angela, but he does seem to be more clear on the fact that he will leave her if they don’t have a kid, even though whenever Angela confronts him about this directly, he says the opposite. Sometimes, it really does seem like Michael loves her, but if that man is divorced and living in America with a green card three years from now, it’ll be the best long con in TV history. Honestly, the man deserves it for all he’s put up with.
Andrei certainly seems to think he deserves some entitlements for all he’s put up with too. To be clear: $100,000 worth. I absolutely love Libby, her messy family, and Andrei’s gumption, so they gave me everything I wanted in these first two episodes. Little Miss Libby has also gotten more comfortable defending Andrei, which makes the dynamic a little more interesting since we last saw them. Honestly, Andrei and Libby aren’t interesting enough to sustain their own plot. Their whole thing is pretty obvious: He’s lazy and domineering, and she loves him because he radiates big-dick energy despite being lazy and domineering. Watching Andrei fail in the housing business is going to be a lot of fun, though.
Asuelu and Kalani and Tiffany and Ronald are the couples closest to their breaking point. Tiffany is already meeting with divorce attorneys, and I hope she finds a good one because she is absolutely right to leave that man. Of course, she knew he had gambling issues, but the fact that he hasn’t sent any money to support his daughter is insane. Long-distance fathers aren’t new to the 90 Day Fiancé universe, and most of them manage to send a pack of diapers or something. But Ronald just buys a stuffed animal for the cameras. He seems so childish. Tiffany deserves better than a guy who reminisces about how the best part of their first date was when he finally got to fart. Canceling their flights is rough, but Tiffany is trying to make clear the consequences of not supporting their kids.
Finally, there are Kalani and Asuelu, who, frankly, deserve a permanent spot in the 90 Day universe even if they get divorced. I have long defended Kalani as a beautiful, smart angel who took on the choice to raise three children by marrying Asuelu. Buying a house to save your marriage, however, is absolutely stupid. I cannot defend her anymore. Kalani’s sister is right and has been there for the worst moments in their relationship, so she knows what’s up. Asuelu promises to change and then he doesn’t. Then their families get involved and it gets even more messy. With Kalani’s sister moving in, there’s no way we’re going to see the “new Asuelu.” Thank goodness, I never get tired of the old Asuelu.