90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?
For so many seasons now, the 90 Day franchise has tried to convince us that Andrei and Libby are an interesting couple. Yes, it was great watching Charlie make a drunk fool of himself at their wedding. Yes, Andrei’s confidence and ability to ask for $100,000 with a straight face is entertaining. But at a certain point, their constant arguments over who should apologize and who shouldn’t apologize get tired. Because here’s the thing: They’re all awful! Libby is awful! Her dad is awful! Her siblings are awful! Andrei is awful!
No one ever comes out looking good in this family, but now things are starting to feel even more sinister, as though the family is plotting for a Family Chantel–like spinoff based on their dad’s house-flipping business. Obviously, the franchise is always looking for new series to bring into the fold, but everything about Charlie’s anger and Libby’s sister storming into a rental property feels so staged. Look, Family Libby, you will NEVER be the Family Chantel, and, frankly, the show should stop treating their family drama as interesting.
Now that they’re out of the way, let’s get back to my absolute favorite 90 Day couple: Yara and Jovi! We last saw them in the 90 Day Fiancé season-eight finale, and the show picks up right where they left off. Yara is a frantic new mom. Jovi is buying the wrong size diapers, but he is buying the right amount of beer to get him through the night. Yara was a beautiful ice queen when she was introduced, and watching Mylah melt her heart is wonderful, but it’s great that she still knows how to pull out her knives when Jovi’s mom oversteps. Yara and Gwen have a great relationship, but Yara is right to stand up for herself! In the end, it’s her baby, and if we want that baby to be as fabulous and outspoken as Yara, let her raise her kid! Especially since Jovi hasn’t gotten a new job and is leaving Yara all alone for two months. Until Jovi is willing to dedicate all of his time to being with his family, Yara gets final say.
I love when there are beacons of truth on 90 Day Fiancé like Yara, people who simply cannot follow social norms and say things like “I’m happy for you!” This is also why I love Kalani’s sister and, now, Tiffany’s mom. Tiffany is clearly at the end of her rope with Ronald, and he doesn’t at all understand why she chose to cancel their trip. I think she’s right to save that money rather than fly all the way to South Africa to support two kids and her husband alone. Tiffany is incredibly lucky to have a mom who will simply tell it like it is: Ronald is just going to be a third child for her to raise, and she could do better. Of course, Tiffany wants to make it work with the father of her child, but she might need to accept that what’s best for her kids is riding solo. Tiffany lived in a house with two kids, her mom, and her grandma and finally has her own space. If she needs money for furniture, Ronald should understand that.
At least Tiffany sees the writing on the wall and is making Ronald face actual consequences. She is giving him a chance to prove himself. This is very different from Kalani, who has a lot of the same issues with Asuelu. Is Kalani listening to her sister and family, though? No. Not at all. Kalani has decided that buying a house together is the way to fix her marriage. Kalani’s sister clearly thinks that is a bad idea, and it’s impossible for her to put on a fake face. With Kalani now living with them, she’s absolutely going to force them to have difficult conversations and realize how big their issues are. Kalani can tell Asuelu is faking it, so it’s only a matter of time before the real Asuelu breaks through.
Julia and Brandon’s relationship has taken a pretty fun turn now that we can see how little they know about each other. Brandon looked so sad when Julia didn’t know his favorite color! I can’t say I was shocked when her visa was denied. As much as I think these two wild kids love each other, they didn’t seem particularly prepared. We’ve seen how other couples put together binders and notebooks full of photos and letters to prove their relationship, and Brandon and Julia seem like they thought they could just shrug their way through the interview. COVID-19 restrictions also played a part, sure, but hopefully this was a wake-up call for them. They need to get their shit together for round two!
Finally, there’s Michael and Angela. Unlike Libby and Andrei, Michael and Angela are interesting enough to justify the franchise’s obsession with them. Michael’s family has made a good point in saying that if Angela really cared about their relationship, she’d use this weight-loss money for a surrogate and a baby. Now, however, the issue is that Angela will also have to get breast-reduction surgery. If you watched the spinoff Love Games, you know about Michael’s disgusting fascination with Angela’s breasts, so this is a difficult loss for him. While Angela is unfairly jealous of Michael and won’t even let him talk to other women, Michael knows their history. Angela has ended things with Michael a million times over minor issues, so of course he’s worried that a new, more self-confident Angela will be even faster to end things when they have problems.
90 Day Notes
• Tiffany’s mom really came in hot with “Ronald means nothing to me.” We love it.
• No Natalie and Mike this week! Thank goodness!
• I know we have a lot of fun talking about 90 Day Fiancé in these reviews, but I was invited to the True/False documentary-film fest in Columbia, Missouri, this week to talk about the show and how it’s changing the landscape of reality TV! You can read the 3,000-word 90 Day Fiancé manifesto I wrote here!
• “You won’t be able to pull on them like you like.” Thank you for the nightmares, Angela.