Last week featured some of Happily Ever After?’s crustiest, tastiest trash, but “Not So Silent Partners” was enjoyable because it actually gives me hope for some of these couples. I’ve been incredibly pessimistic about Tiffany and Ronald, but we’ve really only heard from Tiffany’s side of the family about their issues. It’s easy to think these two won’t make it when we’re listening to Tiffany’s mom list Ronald’s issues every week.
Finally, we get to see how Ronald is really doing. Since the season premiered, we’ve only seen him via video chats and sitting in weird empty rooms with his friends. The producers clearly wanted to play up the drama of whether or not Ronald would build a functional home for Tiffany, and the reveal really does work. When I saw Ronald was building a room for Daniel, it didn’t look great; I could already hear Tiffany complaining about Daniel sleeping in a garage with walls. The final product is actually really great, though! He put in a TV! He painted the walls! He even has nice bedroom and living-room sets.
In 90 Day’s long history, we have seen a number of men fail to provide these basics for their wives and kids. There have been air mattresses and apartments with no toilets. So what Ronald put together is basically a castle by 90 Day standards. Additionally, watching Daniel and Ronald is so sweet; they truly have a great father-son connection. You can see how proud Ronald is to have both his kids in the home he created. For the first time, I really want Tiffany and Ronald to work, but the sad thing is, Ronald is proud of the home he created in South Africa, and America doesn’t interest him. Tiffany might appreciate this apartment for a vacation, but she isn’t interested in staying there long term. There’s so much at stake, and Ronald seems nowhere near ready to leave South Africa.
Asuelu and Kalani are still the MVPs of the season, though. Kalani was honest with him and he followed the steps they agreed on. He used their safe word, walked away, and came back when he could be calm. I honestly gave him a standing ovation. Since his accident, these two have genuinely reconnected. Kalani told Asuelu she did one of the worst things she could do in their relationship, and the truth only brought them closer. Obviously, Low told Asuelu that Kalani was considering divorce, but he didn’t know how real that threat was. I hope these two spend the rest of their days zig-zagging and rock-and-rolling together. We might have a new 90 Day power couple, as far as I’m concerned. Move over, Loren and Alexei. Also, we all know a The Family Asuelu spinoff would provide way more conflict than anything The Family Libby could do!
My previous favorite couple, Jovi and Yara, are back this week. Yara left the safety of Mrs. Gwen’s house to go back to New Orleans and promptly caught COVID-19 while caring for her daughter alone. It’s Jovi’s worst nightmare, and there isn’t much his parents can do to help since they’re in a high-risk demographic. It’s not that Yara did anything wrong — she was wearing her mask and following the rules — she just got tired of living with her mother-in-law. She wanted her own space, and that probably made her more susceptible because she had to interact with Uber drivers and delivery people.
I love Yara and will defend most of her decisions, but she really did look helpless and tired while video chatting. Jovi and Gwen don’t seem mad at her, just really worried. I think we all wish Jovi were there to take care of her.
Now that the sentimental and sweet couples are out of the way, let’s get back to the trash heap: Angela and Michael, Natalie and Mike, and Andrei and Libby all provide some great reality-TV fare in “Not So Silent Partners.” Look, I have been making a joke for weeks about how Natalie is some sort of secret reptilian alien studying the ways of humans in order to mimic them in a relationship. Then she forces Mike to buy her a pet rat so she can save it from being used as food?! That’s the exact type of pet a secret reptilian would buy so no one would suspect them of being a secret reptilian! I think Mike went along with it because it’s a way to get her to stop talking and leave him alone. As soon as she started insulting his mother, Mike was like, “Go play with your rat!”
Andrei and Libby are doing everything in their power to get their family a spinoff, and that includes going forward with this silly family RV trip. It’s obvious right away that the RV can’t comfortably fit ten people, and the idea that traveling in one car is more COVID-safe than separate vehicles doesn’t make much sense. This was manufactured to produce TV drama, and that’s exactly what happens. From Andrei hitting a perfectly placed, tiny, unimportant “Do Not Step on the Grass” sign to ignite the conflict to their arguments over suitcase space, it’s all just empty yelling that doesn’t amount to much. We know Andrei is manipulating their dad, and Libby doesn’t care because she also manipulates her dad! We also know Libby’s family is still the worst, so who cares?
Then there’s Angela and Michael, who have “officially” broken up. I don’t believe that this is really the end of their relationship. We know how many times they’ve broken up and gotten back together. That being said, if their relationship was meant to end in a computer-security store as a confused IT guy looks on, then it was worth it for the entertainment that moment provided. I do not know why Angela insists on telling this poor man the details of her failing marriage, but he just sits there and takes it as she tells him Michael got his dick sucked. Michael doesn’t really do anything wrong in the conversation except ask Angela to respect him. Angela wonders why he doesn’t seem to care about her anymore, and it doesn’t appear to occur to her that Michael might not like being called a son of a bitch every minute of the day. If this really is the end, it’s a beautiful goodbye to a mess of a relationship.
90 Day Notes
• Libby’s sisters yelling over Andrei hitting the smallest of yard signs was such bad reality-TV acting. This whole family is bad at pretending for the camera.
• Seriously, I’m so happy for Asuelu and Kalani! I really think this trip has helped Asuelu mature.
• Angela really said Michael lied about his penis. That’s one way to end a three-year relationship.
• I get that people have pet rats, but don’t they get them from pet stores where they’ve been given shots and stuff? Not feed stores?