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All Creatures Great and Small Recap: Siegfried Goes Full Horse Girl

All Creatures Great and Small

Surviving Siegfried
Season 3 Episode 3
Editor’s Rating 4 stars

All Creatures Great and Small

Surviving Siegfried
Season 3 Episode 3
Editor’s Rating 4 stars
Photo: Vulture; Photo: PBS

I hope you were prepared for a whole bunch of war flashbacks and horse murder this week, because that’s what our normally calm and gentle show has to offer us. I guess it’s asking too much to want this basically a biopic program to skip the coming war and the previous war, despite their scarring of multiple continents and millions of people. So! We might as well deal with it. Let’s go to 1918 Belgium.

Siegfried has a series of flashbacks, all of which are in Ypres during World War I. He’s a captain and is in charge of the horses, most likely as a part of the Veterinary Corps. Hundreds of thousands of horses were brought to Europe for the war, and they needed vets to take care of them. Siegfried’s flashbacks begin as a result of news that one of his fellow soldiers has died by suicide. Again, this is not your typical escapist episode. Siegfried is dealing with his trauma from the war, most definitely exacerbated by the beginning of World War II. His flashbacks alternate with his actions in the present, which are either him shouting at people at 2297 Darrowby, or trying to save a psychologically wounded horse at his former major’s estate.

The shouting is directed at various individuals, one of whom is Tristan, who has left the dispensary all messy. The antiseptic is next to the hydrogen cyanide, and to Siegfried’s point, they do look alarmingly similar. Hats off to this exchange between Tristan, Siegfried, and Mrs. Hall (in that order):

“I’m trying.”
“You’re extremely trying.”
“Shall we not put the deadly poison on the breakfast table?”

As to James’s work, I literally asked last week for no more dead cows, and what do we have here? Dead cow. Just a full-on dead cow, lying in a field. Not cool, show. James is seeing Cranford the Farmer about said dead cow, which Cranford is really positive was struck by lightning, despite there having been no storms. Insurance won’t pay out on a regular dead cow, so it has to have died due to a weather cataclysm. Good luck to Cranford in getting I-Cannot-Tell-a-Lie James to sign off on a false cause of death.

James gets a cow postmortem done and I can’t tell if I enjoy or am terrified by the man doing the postmortem, whose name is Jeff. (He has “Jeff” vibes, I’ll give him that.) Jeff greets James while wearing a bloody apron and eating a sandwich, then cuts into the cow heart while seeming to make direct eye contact with James. He declares this cow was definitely not struck by lightning, and when Cranford the Farmer grumbles about payment, Jeff says to James that that man would skin a flea for its hide. Classic Jeff.

Siegfried goes full horse girl when he meets River, the horse that can’t be broken. River was brought to the major’s estate from Ireland and he won’t allow anyone to ride him. Maybe he just hates the English, amirite? We, in turn, immediately hate the major, because he describes himself as being a little gouty, which he attributes to “the price of living well.” Oh boooooooo. He also only cares about this incredibly beautiful horse in order to race him. After Siegfried examines River, he determines nothing is wrong with him physically, and he just needs to be treated psychologically. The major, who sucks, gives Siegfried one shot at giving the horse therapy, and if it doesn’t work well then he and his crony are ready to have River killed. They decide so quickly! Are you monsters! What if he just needs to get acclimated? What if he just needs a stern yet gentle soul who can feel a spiritual kinship with him and teach him to trust again? #RiversJourney

After being shouted at, Tristan organizes the dispensary (please note once more the excellent star tiles on the dispensary floor). In the midst of this, a chemical salesman named Mr. Barge stops in, picks Mrs. Hall’s petunias (not a euphemism), and sells Tristan two entire boxes of a new sedative called Soothe-Away. Mrs. Hall, who’s being pretty feisty this episode, implies Siegfried won’t be happy about Tristan handling the purchase, and when Tristan says she has a sense of humor, we hear her shout, off camera, “I blooming well need one to work here.” It was unexpected and I lol’d. I don’t know why this was the funniest moment of the episode, but it was. Probably because most of the other moments involved dead cows, war flashbacks, and traumatized animals. Side note: I want the chemical salesman’s briefcase. It unfolds in a very satisfying way.

Siegfried figures out that River is in a near-constant state of panic, and starts treating him accordingly. Amid this, we see flashbacks to Siegfried on Armistice Day. The 1918 version of the major tells Siegfried to prepare the fanciest horse (his name is Orpheus) to go home, and when Siegfried starts talking about what they’ll need for the rest of the horses, the major tells him all the horses have to be put down. Siegfried protests — these brave horses carried their men into battle and fought at their side. I did not cry during the episode, but I am now, oh noooooo, feelingssss.

Essentially, orders are orders, and it’s too expensive to ship all the horses back home. Good lord, it’s so sad. Especially given how Siegfried lost one of his men during a gas attack because the man insisted on seeing to the horses’ masks before his own. Amid these memories, Siegfried is even more determined to save River. After a test ride, the major’s crony gestures to a stablehand to surreptitiously wave a riding crop, and River throws Siegfried. When I tell you the fury I felt. How dare — how DARE you, sir. If you have a pet, I encourage you to hug it right now.

Now Siegfried thinks he has to put River down, because he can’t be ridden. When he goes back home, he and Mrs. Hall sit at the table together to play their word game that they play because they’re married (is this game Scrabble? I can’t tell, nor am I that invested). He shows her the letter from his army friend who died by suicide the previous week. Siegfried tells her that he keeps re-reading it to see if he missed something that he could have done to help, and she says, “Oh, Siegfried” (first name!) and TAKES. HIS HAND. Look, I know they’re low-key seeing people, but that is all nonsense because they have clearly been married for ten years.

The next day, having shared his troubles (excellent job, Siegfried), he apologizes to Helen for having snapped at her. He and Tristan go to put down River, and on the way, we get a very 2020-era convo. When Tristan asks Siegfried if he’s all right, Siegfried says, “That’s a stupid bloody question, of course I’m not. None of us is. Now should we be … there’d be something wrong with us if we were.” Maybe we should, in fact, every now and then, admit that we are not all right. The desire for normalcy asserts itself with extreme force, and that can be helpful, but sometimes you need to process that something Very Terrible has happened and is still happening. We are in the midst of a terrible time, and we are not all right, but that doesn’t mean we will never be all right. (Tristan, of course, says he is all right. Sigh.)

Thankfully, Siegfried figures out that River is traumatized by the riding crop. When the major balks, asking how can he be a racehorse if he’s afraid of the riding crop, Siegfried says they will do it with time. And we end on a majestic shot of Siegfried on a beautiful horse running across the hills. We will TAKE IT, and thank you.

All Creatures Great and Small Recap: Siegfried, Horse Girl