If you’ve seen The Mandalorian, you already know something very important: In the first episode, the Mandalorian accepts a mission to capture a mysterious being and return it to Werner Herzog, but it turns out that the mysterious being is A TINY BABY YODA!
There are lots of things we still don’t know about this li’l creature. Does he wear diapers? Is he actually Baby Yoda? Is he a member of Yoda’s species? How did this wee munchkin end up in a floating crib? Question after question after question.
But what we do know, with absolute certainty, is that Baby Yoda is so cute. Without further ado, here is the story of the cutest li’l green baby to grace the galaxy in eons.
Chapters One and Two
One day, a bounty hunter named the Mandalorian took a job to find a mysterious target. He found the target hidden in a small, floating ball. But when he opened the ball …
… Baby Yoda was inside!
The Mandalorian was surprised to find a baby, but he still had to take Baby Yoda back to his ship. Off they go!
Other bounty hunters tried to steal Baby Yoda, so the Mandalorian pushed him out of danger.
After the Mandalorian got hurt in the fight, Baby Yoda felt bad and tried to make him feel better with the Force. It didn’t work. Poor Baby Yoda!
The Mandalorian took Baby Yoda back to his ship. The ship was broken, but Baby Yoda was still happy to be there.
Baby Yoda ate a frog!
Before the Mandalorian could fix his ship, he had to fight a big, mean monster. Baby Yoda got very worried.
Baby Yoda used the Force to save the Mandalorian from the mean monster. It was hard work, and it made him very, very tired.
Baby Yoda had to take a long nap after his adventure. Sleep well, Baby Yoda!
Chapter Three: The Sin
After waking up, Baby Yoda wanted to play with the levers in the Mandalorian’s ship.
But the Mandalorian told Baby Yoda that his ship was not a toy.
It’s frustrating to be a curious Baby Yoda stuck in his crib!
As the Mandalorian went on his way to give Baby Yoda to mean old Werner Herzog, Baby Yoda looked around at all the interesting people.
The wind was very strong, and it made Baby Yoda’s ears flap backward. Baby Yoda, do you need a hat?
The Mandalorian knocked on the door to Werner Herzog’s hideout, and Baby Yoda started to feel nervous.
Werner Herzog was very happy to have Baby Yoda in his clutches. He scanned Baby Yoda to make sure the Mandalorian caught the right baby.
The Mandalorian gave Baby Yoda to mean Werner Herzog, and Baby Yoda felt so sad to be sent away!
The Mandalorian was supposed to forget about Baby Yoda, but he decided he couldn’t let Werner Herzog hurt his li’l buddy. When he went back to rescue him, he found Baby Yoda in a scary machine that made him sleep.
Lots and lots of bad guys came to try to stop the Mandalorian from rescuing Baby Yoda, but the Mandalorian kept Baby Yoda safe.
As the Mandalorian and Baby Yoda flew away to safety, the Mandalorian finally let Baby Yoda play with the shiny ball.
Chapter Four: Sanctuary
Baby Yoda still can’t keep his damn hands off the ship controls. Yoda kids: They never listen!
“Hi, Mando. I’m Baby Yoda. You know you love me, right? Yeah, you do.”
We don’t know what this thing is, but it looks like an extra-scary space Cheshire Cat and it’s freaking out Baby Yoda, so we hate it.
It’s the internet’s new favorite image: Baby Yoda just sippin’ on some bone broth and watching an awesome fight between Mando and Gina Carano’s Cara Dune. In a few short days, this has already superseded every “munching on popcorn” GIF on Twitter as the de facto way to illustrate the act of hanging back and watching major shit go down.
Baby Yoda likes his new, simpler crib well enough, but is also wondering why this one doesn’t float and if it’s possible to exchange it for a floating one at Buy Buy Baby Yoda.
“This frog? It is not to my liking, so I will spit it out and delight these children who are watching me, as well as all children everywhere.”
“Oh! One fish, two fish, red fish … no, make that blue fish. And another blue fish. And another blue fish.”
There is one and only one image of Baby Yoda that no one ever wants to see and it’s this: Baby Yoda in the crosshairs.
Now that he’s a known target of bounty hunters, Yoda has to move on to another undisclosed location and hug this place good-bye. Aw, Baby Yoda’s like Olaf. He likes warm hugs.
[Running after vehicle while flailing arms]: Good-bye, Baby Yoda! Bye! Be safe! We love you! We’ll see you in episode five, as well as in many episode five GIFs!
Chapter Five: The Gunslinger
Baby Yoda was happily sitting around on the Mandalorian’s ship when they got attacked. It’s very scary when adults fight!
Luckily, the Mandalorian fired his big space lasers and destroyed the enemy, even if the ship took a lot of damage and had to go down to Tatooine. Baby Yoda was tired, so his big-helmet friend wrapped him up and put him to bed.
After Baby Yoda woke up on the ship, he wandered down its gangway, and discovered … Amy Sedaris! In a wig! Baby Yoda was pretty confused, but Amy Sedaris was even more confused. How did she end up in space?
Luckily, Amy Sedaris in a Curly Space Wig — whose name, it turns out, is “Peli” — became fast friends with Baby Yoda. Who could resist those big old eyes, and those soft, soft ears?
Amy Sedaris in a Curly Space Wig Also Known as Peli gently fondled Baby Yoda’s ears, and decided she would take care of Baby Yoda, and also find a way to charge the Mandalorian for child care. She probably also filed away a few ideas for a Baby Yoda hat crafting project.
Baby Yoda and Amy Sedaris in a Curly Space Wig Also Known as Peli met a young aspiring Bounty Guild member named Toro. Baby Yoda was suspicious, as Baby Yoda only trusts his big-helmet friend.
Baby Yoda was right to be suspicious! Toro took him and Amy Sedaris in a Curly Space Wig Also Known as Peli captive. Baby Yoda is potentially a very valuable captive that Toro intends to use to get his way into the Guild, but Baby Yoda does not appreciate being treated this way.
When the Mandalorian tried to stop Toro, Toro pointed a gun at Baby Yoda! This has been a very stressful time on Tatooine for our little hero.
The Mandalorian came to Baby Yoda’s rescue in a shoot-out with Toto, firing from his helmet — a very good, but very dangerous thing to do when babies are involved in the firefight. Toro dropped Baby Yoda, which is a sign that he is a bad bounty hunter and an even worse child-care provider.
We were very worried about Baby Yoda during the firefight, but luckily he took cover and emerged okay. Baby Yoda is learning survival skills very quickly.
Amy Sedaris in a Curly Space Wig Also Known as Peli was very happy to see that Baby Yoda was okay, she cradled him happily. She, like the rest of us, has grown to love him so.
The Mandalorian had to head off with Baby Yoda, but he did at least have money to pay Amy Sedaris in a Curly Space Wig Also Known as Peli for her hard work and Baby Yoda care. Baby Yoda had to say good-bye to a new friend, as he sped away from Tatooine. Good-bye, Amy Sedaris in a Curly Space Wig Also Known as Peli! We hope to visit you again soon!
Chapter Six: The Prisoner
Because our secondary character the Mandalorian is a working dad, he had to take on a pretty sketchy assignment in order to pay the bills and take care of his little baby buddy. This meant hanging out with a bunch of skeezy characters and hiding Baby Yoda in his ship. That is, until Mando got into a fight with one of them, slammed him into the wrong button, and revealed Baby Yoda just hanging out!
“What is that, like a pet or something?” asks Space Bill Burr, a.k.a. Mayfeld, who happens to be a former Imperial sharpshooter, as Baby Yoda coos softly, offering some cutting insights into Burr’s latest comedy special.
This asshole picked up Baby Yoda and then dropped him when the ship dropped out of hyperspace! Guess they don’t train baby-handling skills in Imperial sharpshooter school. The Emperor was not about work-life balance.
As the rest of the ragtag team of renegades went off on a mission to break a captive out of a New Republic ship, Baby Yoda wandered around in his li’l tunic and met someone new in the cockpit, a humanoid droid named Zero, played by British national treasure Richard Ayoade.
Baby Yoda, a fan of The IT Crowd, wondered if Baby Yoda had met a friend.
Then Zero grabbed a rifle! Baby Yoda had not met a friend!
Baby Yoda hid around a corner from this not-friend.
Baby Yoda prepared to use the Force to save himself, and Zero exploded!
Baby Yoda marveled at his own power, not yet realizing that it was Daddy Mandalorian who had snuck up and shot Zero in the nick of time.
After a long day of violence and scheming, Daddy Mandalorian rescued Baby Yoda from all the skeezes, jumped into hyperspace, and gave Baby Yoda back a favorite toy, the little silver ball that attaches a lever. Congrats to Baby Yoda, you may not have all your Force abilities mastered yet, but you did good!
Chapter Seven: The Reckoning
The Mandalorian decides he needs to get the gang back together in order to fight Werner Herzog. Baby Yoda has to tag along at the restaurant while Mando recruits Cara Dune, the nice lady and former rebel fighter who helped them out in episode four.
While Mando and Cara Dune make a plan, Baby Yoda does some upside-down peeking.
Baby Yoda, what do you think they’re talking about? It’s about you!
Baby Yoda, why are you messing with Mando’s ship! It’s very dangerous to screw around with a spaceship and we really do not recommend it!
Mando also recruits the nice man from episode two to help take care of Baby Yoda, but Baby Yoda is not sure how he feels about people assessing his growth curve.
One very risky aspect of being a baby with the Force is that you may misinterpret moments of danger. For instance, in this scene Baby Yoda tries to Force-strangle Cara Dune because she and Mando are arm-wrestling and Baby Yoda thinks she’s actually trying to hurt his helmet daddy.
Carl Weathers, please be very careful when picking up Baby Yoda. We know you’re a bounty hunter and you’re almost certainly about to betray Mando, but it would behoove you to be extremely cautious with the baby.
While camping out on the night before the big battle to take out Werner Herzog, Mando and his ragtag crew get attacked by some flying bird monsters, and Carl Weathers gets hurt. He really does not seem like he’s going to make it, but Baby Yoda heals him with the Force.
Mando decides to send Baby Yoda back to his ship so he won’t get hurt during the big battle.
It’s a good thing Mando decided to send Baby Yoda away, because Werner Herzog, speaking for all of us, would like to see the baby. [Editor’s note: We know, this is technically not a Baby Yoda part of The Mandalorian, but how could we resist such a concise summation of this entire post?]
But while Mando’s trying to face down the stormtroopers in town, Baby Yoda and the nice man taking care of him get attacked! The stormtroopers capture Baby Yoda. It is very, very stressful.
Chapter Eight: Redemption
It’s already Mandalorian finale time and as that final episode begins, things are looking not so hot for Baby Yoda.
Now in the custody of troopers, Baby Yoda knows when he’s being babysat by assholes, which is why he bites one of those troopers on the finger. The trooper’s response is to punch — punch! — Baby Yoda in the face. Fortunately, the Child is about to be rescued.
Baby Yoda sees the Nurse Droid, or IG-11, coming and knows his luck is about to change.
“Thanks for saving me, Nurse Droid. Jerks those guys were. Can we call Intergalactic Child Protective Services on them, is that a thing?”
Nurse Droid goes fast. Whee! Baby Yoda kinda likes it.
Baby Yoda definitely likes going fast. Super-wheeeeee! Baby Yoda is going to call his agent and see if he can get a part in a Fast & Furious movie during Mandalorian’s hiatus.
Moff Gideon, a.k.a. Gus Fring, a.k.a. Giancarlo Esposito, is so determined to get his hands on Baby Yoda that he plans to smoke him out. Baby Yoda doesn’t like the looks of this fire-starting.
“I see this fire and I, Baby Yoda, am going to stop it.”
“Look at me, using the Force to stop fire like I’m in a Star Wars version of Backdraft.”
“Stopped the fire I did! Baby Yoda tired now. Baby Yoda nap.” [Clunk.]
Mando, or Din Djarin as we now know he is called, insists that Baby Yoda is “injured but it is not helpless.” Baby Yoda looks up at him. His expression says, “Behold my cuteness.” Inside he is saying, “You’re damn right I am not helpless.”
As IG self-destructs to save Mando and Team Baby Yoda, Baby Yoda looks on adorably. Thank you, IG-11. Thank you for your service.
Greef Karga suggests that they should “make the baby do the magic hand thing” to save them from Moff Gideon. Baby Yoda waves cutely. Inside he’s saying: “I am not your cute little on-demand sorcerer, Carl Weathers. I will never be your cute little on-demand sorcerer.”
After Mando manages to blow up Moff Gideon’s TIE fighter, Baby Yoda looks at his Boba Daddy like he’s his hero.
Baby Yoda loves Cara Dune and thinks she could be a really good mommy, actually, the kind who also is really good at kicking people’s asses.
“Bye, everybody! Boba Daddy says we have to go somewhere else, so I guess we’re off to Dagobah now!”
The episode is almost over, save for the reveal that Moff Gideon is so not dead. Our last look at Baby Yoda (for now) shows him sucking on a new paci that is not a paci and is super pointy and should not go in a baby’s mouth, even if that baby is technically 50. But Mando does not know this because he’s really not equipped to be a dad. Oh, Mando. [Cue Mandalorian sitcom music.] Aaaand scene.