I’m dreading writing this one, readers. This episode was a snooze, but nevertheless, she (me) persists (writes the recap). I feel like I’m picking over someone else’s leftovers. It’s all unappetizing! I guess we can start with the Gary-Ashley-Scarlett triangle.
Gary “confronts” Ashley before the charter comes aboard, meaning he says to her, “So are we going to stop being childish, Ash?” before “joking” that they should all (all being Gary, Scarlett, and Ashley) just kiss and make up. He truly wishes. Ashley sighs; Gary leaves. Done!
Scarlett and Gary pull a Paige and Carl of Summer House fame and make out in the pantry mere moments later. I’m bored already! Colin distills it best: “In typical Gary fashion, Scarlett’s the new girl on the block, so he’s trying out all his best moves. He’s pulling out all the stops. This guy … I can’t figure out how his brain works.” And if Colin, an engineer, can’t figure it out, I don’t think any of us can.
And at the same time, I kind of get the Gary thing in a freaky sort of way. I don’t get it enough to go full Teresa Giudice over him à la Ashley, but I get it enough in that I’d probably shamelessly flirt back with him à la Daisy.
And because everyone wants to know, here is my opinion on Daisy’s feelings for Gary: Daisy is a smart girl. She sees Gary for what he is. Would she ever hook up with him? Yes, and she has. But she doesn’t actually care about him like that. Scarlett says she gets a “vibe” from Daisy that she has a thing for Gary. This is objectively wrong! They have a bond, yes. They’re friends. They’ve worked together, in close quarters, for years. Maybe she flirts with him, but it’s harmless fun. Let’s contextualize when, why, and how Scarlett says this, shall we?
Earlier in the day, Gary insists to Daisy that he needs a stew for beverage service when he takes the guests out on the tender for snorkeling and swimming. He claims it looks more professional for a stew to be onboard since he’ll be busy driving. Oh, and also he wants Scarlett specifically! Daisy’s bullshit detector goes off the second she hears this: Why would you need a full-ass stew to join you on a tender and pour drinks? This isn’t a beach lunch! Her stews have work to do! Oh, wait, it’s because he wants to flirt with Scarlett out at sea. This is not going to work for Daisy. As she says in a confessional, “You’ve got one reason to be here, and it’s to fucking work.” Daisy goes, Fine Gary, you win, but I’ll be the stew joining. Checkmate.
Of course, Daisy does nothing aboard … nothing but prove her point. Her presence on the tender is useless, and she pours nary a drink while the guests splash around. Okay, with this in mind, I bring you to part two.
As Daisy and Scarlett turn down beds and whatnot, Daisy lets it rip. She’s fuming at Gary for overstepping and trying to call the shots for her department. “All Gary does all day is cause trouble,” she says. Zero lies detected! Mama is mad because she doesn’t stop. She slams Gary for hooking up with one stew (Ashley), trading her for the next one (Scarlett), and having the gall to call her, Chief Stew, unprofessional? Take a look in the mirror, pal! It’s worth noting that I’ve never seen Daisy this bothered! Some might say it’s because she has a crush on Gary and it’s finally getting to her. Enemies to lovers, perhaps? No, I say. It’s because he’s being fucking annoying and creating more work for Daisy. Anyway, Gary later says sorry to Daisy for picking a fight with her and admits it was petty. This behavior unsettles Daisy (and me), but she accepts his apology and moves on.
Ashley, on the other hand, was down bad for Gary and I suspect still is — despite her attempts to hide it. I commend Scarlett for being straight up with Ashley, though. Scarlett pulls Ashley aside to let her know Gary’s coming onto her. “Does that bother you?” Scarlett asks. Bold move! Ashley is simply not a skilled enough actress to convince us viewers that “Garlett” doesn’t bother her, but she tries, bitter as she is.
Okay, enough with that! Onto the charter. Primary guest Keely Washburn joined us last season, and for better or worse, my mind has completely blacked her out. I don’t remember a single thing about her or her friends, but I did discover she used a photo of her aboard what seems to be the Parsifal III to commemorate 9/11 on Instagram. Her friends have a slew of dietary restrictions, which is neither here nor there except that they request a ten-course dinner. Poor Marcos has his work cut out for him! Poor Marcos also has to deal with one guest exclusively speaking to him in bad Spanish with a weird (and racist?) accent. Not a problem, he says; he is simply there to fill any chef fantasy they may have. That same guest compares his green-bean tempura to a dish at P.F. Chang’s.
Speaking of which, these guests seem to have the world’s blandest palates. They’re afraid to eat duck and quail eggs but manage to choke them down. Don’t worry, sweeties, you’ll be back in the land of safe foods soon.
At least Captain Glenn is thinking about us, the audience, when he suggests a race against La Cattiva, another yacht he spots across the water. I am salivating at the thought of our dear Captain Glenn in action, cutting across the water, setting his majestic sails to the wind. That image of a giddy Glenn on the racecourse will keep me full until next week, and it will have to! We don’t get to watch the race. Instead, the episode ends with a “To be continued …” and readers, I have high expectations.
From the Galley
• Ashley’s “junior stewart” chyron was too good. Thank you, producers.
• Marcos pretending to knock at the boys’ door to trick Gary into thinking that Scarlett was outside waiting for him? Gold.
• Glenn in a sparkly pom-pom wig is everything.