Alissa may or may not have clairvoyant capabilities.
The second she tells Hayley that she had a dream about Captain Sandy firing her, I knew she was getting canned. Technically, we still don’t know for sure, but it’s called critical thinking, babe. Ross as a witness, though? That I didn’t see coming! When Camille was fired, was there a witness? For better or worse, I promptly forget everything that occurs in an episode immediately after watching, but I don’t believe a fellow crew member witnessed Captain Sandy sending Camille home.
Alissa is a dead woman walking the moment she calls Captain Sandy just “Sandy.” That is bad. That is … there’s simply no recovering from that. Even for the most remorseful and regretful crew member, it would be an uphill battle. For Alissa? Impossible. Let’s rewind to when Captain Sandy catches Alissa and Hayley soaking up the sun instead of helping Tyler finish his tasks. Alissa is dismissive, while Hayley is a model stew, apologizing and offering to scurry back down to get the job done. Captain Sandy warns Alissa then that her tone is out of line, but Alissa doesn’t listen. When she requests to see her on the bridge, Hayley reminds her to calm down, but Alissa brushes off that advice too. On the bridge, Captain Sandy informs Alissa that she’s overstepping and that, as a captain, she won’t tolerate the insubordination. She expects a certain level of respect. Alissa’s responses seem brusque, and I don’t clock an apology from her. Now’s the time to beg, babe! Get your grovel on! You’re on thin ice. Instead, what does she do? She refers to Captain Sandy simply as “Sandy.” That’s it. She’s a goner.
Captain Sandy calls Fraser to the bridge and rips him a new one. She calls him a cancer (harsh) and says he’s created the worst experience that she’s ever had on a boat with a chief stew (harsher). Surprising us all, he handles it flawlessly. He’s embarrassed, ashamed, and genuinely apologetic. He thanks Captain Sandy for the learning opportunity and takes full responsibility for his mistakes. This is a master class in how to handle Captain Sandy. She rewards Fraser by telling him that he’s just made his first step, and she hopes they become allies. I believe Fraser has fully learned his lesson, but for his sake, I hope Captain Lee returns tout suite.
After their separate trips to the principal’s office, Fraser and Alissa regroup. She tells Fraser that she was blunt with Captain Sandy in order to protect and defend him. Fraser politely tells her that although he loves her for doing that on a personal level, it won’t be required in the future. Fraser isn’t too keen on Alissa at this point. Just earlier, he had to drag her ass out of bed to attend team bonding. Everyone hates mandatory fun, but everyone also knows it’s mandatory, especially if you’re already on your boss’s bad side. You can’t just play possum in your room and bad-mouth Captain Sandy in the kitchen, proclaiming that you don’t care if she can hear you. That’s not how this works! And stop muttering so damn much!
Speaking of the volleyball outing, Fraser has a doctor’s note and can’t run around in the sand. He is supposed to be the interior team captain, but instead he sits on the sidelines to cheerlead. Captain Sandy’s reaction here is a little overboard. It’s really not that big of a deal, yet after the match, she lectures him in front of the entire crew about how his sitting out prevented his team from gaining the benefits of this particular team-building exercise. This dig does not go unnoticed. Alissa promises Fraser that the next time Captain Sandy comes for him, she’s going to hear from the crew. Ill-advised and threatening, but sure. While Captain Sandy is dragging Fraser, I get to thinking. Her claim is simply not true. First of all, this is a stacked game. Tony, Ross, Ben, and Katie versus … the interior? Let’s be for real. This isn’t about strengths and weaknesses; this is about pure athletic ability. Second of all, how is someone supposed to lead a team in a sport they’ve never played? And third, wouldn’t it be better to scramble up the interior and exterior crew members? Make them partner up and work with “new” people? I do understand her annoyance with Fraser’s lack of communication, and if I were Fraser, I would have filled her in a while back on the boat, but again, it’s just not that big of a deal.
And this is all after Captain Sandy reminds her team that she can hear everything, all the shit-talking, all the complaining, all the venting, and so can the guests. She encourages them to go down to their cabins if they need to whine. Why would anyone take this as a cue to sit out a team-bonding outing? And yet …
At least Katie and Ross will be able to carry on as a happy couple with Alissa gone. Barf.
From the Galley
• I want to try out Tony’s garlic hack the next time I’m stung by a bee.
• Speaking of Tony, his referring to Ross and Katie as a “cheap telenovela” is the read I didn’t know I needed.
• Hayley reacting to the idea of playing beach volleyball: “I’m interior for a reason. I haven’t been outside in two years.” Compare Hayley describing playing beach volleyball: “I feel like a fetus in a wig just rolling around in the sun getting sunburned.” Both 10/10, no notes.
• And finally, Fraser is stepping into his power: “I need to remind her that she has absolutely no control over her life while she’s on this ship.”