Blumhouse and Hulu announced an interesting partnership near the end of 2018: Jason Blum’s wildly profitable company, one that has been responsible for game-changers like Paranormal Activity and Get Out, would produce a new horror film every month for Hulu subscribers. And there was even a clever twist — each film would be based on that month’s holiday.
While the potential to spotlight new voices in horror on an international streaming platform was welcome news for genre fans, the experiment has not resulted in the best batting average. Even die-hard fans of the series would tell you that it’s been inconsistent at best. For every installment that impressed, there has been at least one that has disappointed. And now, with this weekend’s release of ninth chapter “They Came Knocking,” we’re three-quarters of the way through the yearlong series — so it’s high time we finally figure out which episodes you should actually watch by ranking them all. We’ll update with the final three as they air, but until then, consider this your guide to Hulu’s Into the Dark.
9. “Down” (Episode 5)
While some of the installments of Into the Dark come apart at different times, none are as front-to-back loathsome as this Valentine’s Day chapter about two people stuck in an elevator. Directed by the talented Daniel Stamm (The Last Exorcism), Down features two beautiful people named Guy (Matt Lauria) and Jennifer (Natalie Martinez) stuck in an elevator over a long holiday weekend. Before the alarm has really even gone off, they’ve gotten each other’s clothes off, but then Down reveals its hand when we learn that Guy is really Jennifer’s stalker. It gives the whole thing a punitive, gross angle — Jennifer is being punished for having sex with a handsome man in an elevator — and then everything about it starts to make less and less sense. The characters are inconsistent, there’s absolutely no real tension, and the gender politics are antiquated. If this is the first episode you watch, there’s nowhere to go but up.
8. “All That We Destroy” (Episode 8)
Some of the worst dialogue and performances sink the Mother’s Day chapter of Into the Dark. Again, as is often the case here, there’s a decent idea — they just don’t do anything with it. Arguably the most Black Mirror-esque installment, this is the tale of a genetic scientist who has finally figured out how to clone people. How does she use this technology? To create copies of a woman for her serial-killer son to murder. Again and again. Yes, it’s icky, but arguably clever in that her son doesn’t get the same thrill he does from killing real women as it’s too controlled a situation. He needs the real panic, and to take the real life. Sadly, the writing here goes from bad to abysmal, and the performances get dragged down with it. There’s nothing worse in this series (and maybe on all of Hulu) than the exposition-heavy virtual-reality scenes between Samantha Mathis and Frank Whaley in which they go over the plot again and again just to make sure we get it.
7. “I’m Just Fucking With You” (Episode 7)
April Fool’s Day was probably rich with ideas on the Into the Dark whiteboard, but this horror-comedy feels more like a prank on viewers. It’s one of the ugliest and least enjoyable installments in that it gives us no one to care about, pitting two sociopaths against each other and letting them chew on the scenery. Hayes MacArthur is somewhat entertaining as Chester, a loudmouth jerk who’s always playing pranks on people and is very clearly physically dangerous and probably a serial killer. Chester is fascinated by Keir O’Donnell’s Larry, who checks into a motel that Chester is pretending to manage (it’s obvious he’s done something awful to the owners pretty early on). The problem is that Larry is a jerk too, the kind of troll who goes beyond standard, bad social behavior and becomes actually abusive and dangerous. As we learn more and more about how awful Chester and Larry are, the whole venture comes apart, until it ends with such a cheap gotcha twist that you’ll want to take a shower to wash the whole icky thing off.
6. “The Body” (Episode 1)
The first episode of Into the Dark has one of the best premises of the entire series but never quite figures out what to do with it. It also had the blessing of being able to use Halloween as its holiday setting. In this one, Tom Bateman plays a suave hit man who has to dispose of a body quickly. Given that it’s a holiday in which people can get away with odd looks, he basically just wraps it up and starts walking, presuming that most people will hesitate when they see a bloodied man dragging something wrapped in plastic. Wacky hijinks ensue. It’s a great idea for a short film, which this originally was, but comes apart when it gets stretched out to feature length. Tonally inconsistent and with a flat central performance, this one only comes to life when Aurora Perrineau pops up in the supporting cast. Otherwise, just watch the short.
5. “Treehouse” (Episode 6)
The best overall ensemble in the history of Into the Dark makes the relative failure of this installment that much more disappointing. To celebrate International Women’s Day, James Roday of Psych fame directed this twist on female empowerment and convinced Jimmi Simpson (Westworld), Mary McCormack, and Stephanie Beatriz to star. Simpson is excellent as a celebrity chef who has had a history of bullying and aggressive behavior. He’s about to get a serious #MeToo moment courtesy of a group of witches. While the horror genre is likely to become overcrowded with stories of male jerks learning lessons, this one doesn’t have enough teeth. All of the ideas feel half-developed, and it’s just not as vicious as one wishes it would be. Like a lot of Into the Dark, it pulls its punches, ending up more of an interesting miss than it should have been.
4. “They Come Knocking” (Episode 9)
Grief drama, supernatural thriller, and home-invasion-flick tropes are tossed in a blender in this mildly effective episode that would have been something special at about an hour but stretches a little thin at 85 minutes. Clayne Crawford of Rectify stars as a father headed to the middle of the desert to scatter his dead wife’s ashes. When the family arrives in their isolated, no-phone-signal mobile home, they’re startled when hooded, black-eyed children knock on the door and ask to come in. And then things get really weird. Directed by Adam Mason, They Come Knocking contains more striking imagery and genuine emotion than most installments in this series, even if it does hit a few beats too many times.
3. “Flesh & Blood” (Episode 2)
Sadly, we’re already getting into the “yeah, it’s not great” portion of the Into the Dark legacy, but this one ranks a little higher, thanks to a totally committed performance by Dermot Mulroney. The typically affable actor plays against type as a man whose daughter (2019 breakout Diana Silvers of Booksmart and Ma) starts to suspect he may be a serial killer. And you thought your Thanksgiving was awkward. Wes Craven’s creative collaborator Patrick Lussier (he edited most of Craven’s late career) directs this installment with a workmanlike approach, not quite bringing it enough style but allowing Mulroney and Silvers enough space to do their work. Sadly, the whole piece kind of deflates in the final act, when Lussier can’t find the right tone to keep the tension, but it’s worth seeing for the performances.
2. “Pooka!” (Episode 3)
It’s probably not a coincidence that the two best installments of Into the Dark come from directors who had done strong work previously. Nacho Vigalondo, who directed the well-received Timecrimes and Colossal, is the biggest name in this series. Both of those films are very playful with genre rules, and Vigalondo approaches his Into the Dark with a similar degree of risk-taking. The Christmas episode of this series stars Nyasha Hatendi as an out-of-work actor who gets a job selling a new toy called the Pooka, which is a super-creepy doll that repeats back what kids and parents say to it. Dressing up as a crazy creature gives our hero more courage but leads him down a dark path in what is basically a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde riff. While there’s a lot to like here, even an episode this solid suffers from the biggest problem of the Into the Dark series — they all would have better as hour-long episodes than 85-minute movies.
1. “New Year, New You” (Episode 4)
The New Year’s installment of Into the Dark remains the most ambitious and most successful to date, largely because it has actual ideas of its own and anchors them to solid performances. It also has a talented director in Sophia Takal, who helmed an excellent little thriller from 2009 called Always Shine, starring Mackenzie Davis. Takal directs the saga of the worst New Year’s Eve party ever. Alexis (Suki Waterhouse) gets together with some old high-school friends and invites the most successful alum of their circle, Danielle (Carly Chaikin), but they have more than a Champagne toast in mind. They’re finally going to teach Danielle, who bullied a girl into suicide when they were young, a lesson she’s long deserved. Takal’s film is smart about how the self-help movement is really a form of bullying — so many of them work to tear people down so they’ll be needed to build those people back up — and contains arguably the best performance in the series from Chaikin.