Since “What’s Luv” by Fat Joe was released in 2002, I had always felt offended on the engineer’s behalf when Joe yells, “Put the fucking mic on!” to kick off the track. Like, Jesus, Fat Joe, how about a little courtesy in that request? Why all the aggression? These people are here, for you, to help fulfill your artistic endeavors, and this is how you treat them? Okay …
So one night in March 2019, when “What’s Luv” came up on my Spotify shuffle and I imagined again that poor engineer having the worst day ever, I decided to make a quick seven-second video pretending to be her, and I posted it to Twitter that night. As people started responding to it, I realized what an evergreen concept the whole thing is — so many rappers include their improvised chatter to the sound booth at the beginning of their tracks. I made a few more videos, like Eminem needing more snare in his headphones in “Cleaning Out My Closet,” Future preparing a cup of lean near all of the expensive audio equipment, and Jay-Z telling the engineer to “release the flutes” in a song that does not include flutes in any way, shape, or form.
These videos have been fun to make and have garnered me a lot of nice followers and cool interactions on Twitter. But, tragically, in mid-July, over two years after I’d posted them, I had to delete them forever due to the ever-expanding reach of the DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act). Twitter receives claims from either record companies or individuals on tweets by users who use copyrighted music, and more often than not, Twitter removes the video and adds a strike to the tweeter’s account. I have … a few strikes. Turns out I post a lot of stuff that includes copyrighted music. Sue me, I like music! No, don’t sue me. That’s the whole point of this. I don’t have official guidance on this, but apparently once you get six strikes, your account is banned forever. Seems a little extreme to me, but, hey, I need my Twitter account! Where else am I going to post thirsty pics of Dev Patel and repeatedly beg him to be my husband?
So, out of a deeply ingrained fear of powerful media corporations and their actions, I voluntarily deleted my most popular tweet thread I’ve ever twoten. A modern tragedy, if you ask me. Thankfully, Vulture offered to round up the videos, which I posted to TikTok, in one place for your viewing convenience. And I’m sure they’ll be there for many years to come! Unless, of course, TikTok starts removing videos for copyrighted music, in which case I’ll bring them to the next hot platform, and those will get taken down, so I’ll go to the next one, which will be called “Yo-Yo” or “JingleJam” or “Frog” and I’ll post “All of my classic studio engineer videos are now exclusively hosted on FROG! So hop on over!” And afterwards I’ll sit and wonder if this is bound to be my legacy — posting decades-old videos on a platform for teenagers doing hoverboard tricks, sharing helpful tips about how to deal with the despair of living through a climate disaster, or being like, “Guys, I found my parents’ old music today and it kind of slaps??” while they play “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore. Anyways, I’m gonna go lie down now. Thanks Vulture!