Alfie has returned from London with some disappointing news for his girlfriend: His family still has no idea she exists. Because this show has lost its only reliable tracker of time (Madeline and her pregnancy/baby), I have no clue how long these two have been together. But I’m pretty sure it has just been since the summer, and it’s still hot outside, right? So … a month? Three months? Unclear, but while I appreciate Emily’s eagerness, I don’t know that Alfie’s caution is some bright-red flag. (That said, his line “Let’s not spend more time analyzing our relationship than being in one” is, in fact, something I would be worried about. It sure is one way to undercut any potential conversation they might have about how they really feel about each other and whether they’re on the same page!)
Gabriel is suddenly (as of a few episodes ago) obsessed with becoming a parent immediately. He needs to raise the bar on everything in the restaurant! Time to hire a pastry chef! He must have a Michelen star right now or he will never get to be a fulfilled father like the chef he met at the restaurant from the lavender-party episode! Oh and also: He needs a raise! (Now that I can get behind.) Antoine, apparently a fiscal conservative — why did we spend an entire episode learning that he’s reckless with money only for him to play the voice of reason at this juncture? — points out that the restaurant is only starting to break even. Gabriel claims to have a competing offer that we all know is a lie. Ultimately, Alfie proposes a better deal: Gabriel can have a stake in the restaurant and Antoine will be a silent partner. Gabriel wants to change the name (presumably to Gigi, right? After his grandmother?), to which I say, Maybe don’t change the name of your new restaurant right as you’re finally starting to gain some wider recognition! Seems like a dumb business move, but anyway, all these kids are happy with the outcome.
Sylvie is lounging in the arms of Laurent, who has a flight to catch. (Baby, miss that plane!) I know earlier in these recaps I was supportive of Erik, but oh well, I think it’s very funny and borderline sociopathic how quickly this show has dispensed with him. Bye forever, hot photographer boyfriend! (Wonder what’ll happen to his Grateau contracts?) Sylvie and Laurent return to what appears to be the long-running impasse of their relationship: divergent interests. He wants to go to Saint-Tropez and run his club; she wants to stay in Paris and attend the opera. Laurent preaches healthy hedonism — “We should be enjoying ourselves every second that we can” — so off they go on their separate adventures.
At the office, Sylvie and the team meet with Ami, a fashion brand, for a campaign about love. The plan is to build it around a couple’s engagement, which would be livestreamed on the company Instagram account — but it has to be a complete surprise to the person being proposed to. Imagine if someone did this to you! Honey, I love you so much I could only express it through capitalism … I found something even tackier than a Jumbotron to express my undying devotion to our relationship … You are my greatest #sponcon! An absolutely breakup-able offense. Emily is having a public meltdown about not being in sync with Alfie, which she is taking out on her clients; she is also wearing a pink doily and a silk scarf tied handkerchief style around her head. (Soon we will see she is also wearing knee-high yellow socks covered in flowers. Sure, okay, why not?)
Emily and Mindy take to the bench for a state-of-the-friendship summit. Mindy, as usual, has a correct assessment of Emily’s romantic situation: Emily’s been on the fence about Alfie from the get-go, and his apprehension is valid. But Mindy feels as if Emily put her in an impossible situation by humiliating Nicolas at the Pierre Cadault event without even giving Mindy a heads-up. “I feel like you chose work over me,” she says, which is something of a recurring theme for Emily and a great point of tension for these two! Yes! (That Mindy is so quick to be Team Nicolas, a man she has been dating for, like, two weeks, over her friend and roommate is actually a painfully realistic plot point for a show about being in your late 20s.) Nicolas is throwing Mindy a party for her last night at the club tomorrow, so everyone’s going to try to be adults and get along.
Alfie’s take on the Ami Paris campaign is the correct one (“What kind of idiot would want to put their personal life out there?”) until he realizes he has exactly the idiot for the job right in front of him: Gabriel. Gabriel needs money; Emily needs a couple: two birds, one Insta Story! Emily confides in Alfie that Gabriel just told her he and Camille were on the verge of breaking up. But Alfie is unfazed: Every couple hits that “You’re in or you’re out” crossroads, and Gabriel has decided to be in. As men who are totally ready to propose to their girlfriends are known to do, Gabriel is up late into the night texting Emily about scoping out potential proposal locations. Extremely platonic behavior! Nothing to worry about here!
Emily and Gabriel scout out potential places and rule out most of them except for the aggressively basic and frankly not even that photogenic option: the wall of love. Sorry, but this is a bad choice! It will age terribly. Like little chalkboard signs and Mason jars at weddings. Emily bravely asks what Gabriel and Camille talked about after her return from Greece, and all Gabriel will offer is the very vague “We really opened up to each other.” I for one am still dying to know if their big conversation was about something genuinely interesting (opening up their relationship) or dishonest and therefore boring to me personally (pretending to have eyes only for each other). Gabriel and Emily call each other “friend” in that pointed way people who are just friends would never need to do.
Sylvie has a spare opera ticket, and Luc is desperate to join her. I find his enthusiasm very sweet, and I was honestly very sad for him that he didn’t get to go! I was hoping the twist would be that Sylvie gave him both tickets and he scored a great date at the last minute while she hopped on a plane to Saint-Tropez, but alas. He wears his tux to work and of course gets soup on it before the day is out. Ordering soup was a rookie mistake, so I struggle to have sympathy for that part. Better luck next time, Luc.
At the office, we return to a thread from season two that has been forgotten for so long I thought I invented it: Julien being angry with Emily for stealing his clients “like a tiny vulture in a crop top.” Sylvie keeps blowing him off, and I write in my notes, “Is he going to quit and work for JVMA? Because that would be a very strong development.”
Gabriel, high off the news that he’ll really own a piece of his restaurant, texts Camille and meets her at the Musée d’Orsay. I hate her outfit, sorry! Also her hair is too fine to hold a barrette that gigantic. But the important thing is that, while reminiscing about their early days of dating, Gabriel almost proposes to Camille — and then she proposes to him. Fun twist! They both look genuinely very happy, and I feel as if this is the first time we’ve ever seen them have chemistry? Better late than never. Mazel tov, you two. Looking forward to seeing how this goes sideways in the season finale.
Gabriel calls Emily to tell her about his engagement just as she’s in the middle of the meeting with Ami. (“I hope this doesn’t screw anything up for you.” LMAO.) So she breaks the news, and as she has done countless times on this program — with catastrophic results! — Emily switches up the pitch in the middle of the presentation and offers a new, unvetted idea: hot-air balloons that look like the Ami logo, ridden by couples in love. Luc’s tagline: “Love is in the air.” At this point, Sylvie picks up Julien’s valid frustration with Emily’s behavior and tries to intervene, but the meeting gets away from the both of them.
Sylvie tells Luc she can’t go to the opera at all because the day has been so trying. Then she shoos him out of her office to take a call from her mom (!), who is just checking in because it’s Sylvie and Laurent’s anniversary (!!). Sylvie, an icon, takes herself to the opera sans date, looking outstanding as usual. (Love that cape — impeccable décolletage.) Just as she’s about to turn in her extra ticket, who arrives to join her but Laurent! He did forget their anniversary … but then he remembered and got on the next flight back just so he could gallantly offer his arm to his wife. Although I find this show’s worship of the most conventional version of coupledom (straight, married) deeply irritating, I cannot pretend this wasn’t a romantic and lovely moment.
And now for something entirely different: Mindy’s after-party. Thank God there are no more performances. Mindy is wearing a bustier made entirely of rhinestones. Emily makes a remarkably mature plea to Nicolas to be respectful and move on for Mindy’s sake. Nicolas goes full villain, behaves like an absolute prick, and then, as soon as Mindy gets back, is all, “Oh, Emily was just saying she can’t stay.” Wow. Emily does not refute the lie so as not to make a scene.
As they wander in party exile, Alfie tells Emily he’s been burned several times by women he’s introduced to his family. Emily says her breakup with the Human Plot Device: Chicago Boyfriend was “devastating,” which is not at all how I remember it! She then conveniently skips over the Gabriel part of the story to cut straight to Alfie and assures her current boyfriend she is not going anywhere, which makes him want to FaceTime his mom right now, bedtime be damned. Then he speaks Emily’s love language and suggests they make their relationship “Instagram official.” And Emily realizes something even greater is out there for them: the opportunity to monetize their devotion for a brand. They are the couple in the balloon, facing their fears — isn’t that adorable? Cute ponytail too.
