Well, the team is doing it — they’re going rogue to take on RSM Fertility and find out what’s really going on with all the tiny psychopaths coming out of that place. That journey awkwardly has to begin with Ben and David asking Kristen about her experience there, and it gets super uncomfortable once Ben broaches the subject of Lexis exhibiting any … uh, strange behaviors. Kristen won’t hear it, but it’s a necessary line of questioning, and we know that Kristen knows that something could be up with that kid. And when Mathilda’s mother (remember Mathilda the fire starter?) comes in and tells them how her daughter’s canine teeth grew in extra sharp, Kristen has yet another item to keep from the guys regarding her daughter.
The other thing Mathilda’s mother notes is that four years ago, out of the blue, she received a termination letter from RSM saying she had stopped paying for the storage of her eggs; she hadn’t realized she had stopped. All of this gets Kristen thinking about the status of her own account with RSM, so she calls them and winds up talking to a real pill who informs her that her account is completely up-to-date. That’s weird because Kristen hasn’t gotten a bill from them in years. The woman explains that it was probably paid by the other person listed on the account who is definitely not Kristen’s husband, and she isn’t allowed to disclose that information regardless of if those are Kristen’s eggs, thank you and good-bye. If Kristen could send a bag of frozen French fries sailing through the phone, she would.
Thankfully, when Kristen heads over to RSM in person, she meets a receptionist who is more than happy to break protocol for her because, according to this woman, “this place is awful.” Kristen learns that her eggs were technically abandoned even though she never knew that was happening, and for the past few years a Dr. Autry has been paying for them. It doesn’t take long to track this Dr. Autry down because she happens to be the current fertility doctor for Eric’s mom, who they just brought in to question regarding RSM. If you don’t remember Eric, well, you’re one of the lucky ones because that kid haunts me to this day.
The team has Kristen meet with Autry while the guys wait outside. The conversation escalates quickly, and it becomes clear that Autry knows exactly who Kristen is, is prepared to make up wild accusations to stop Kristen from suing her, and is most definitely up to no good. As soon as Kristen leaves, Autry runs out of the building, and the guys follow her to her next location. I’ll give you one guess where she goes.
All roads lead to Leland, and we should never be surprised about this. David certainly isn’t: “Evil is organizing,” he says. Don’t worry, they’re not completely nonchalant about it: When Autry doesn’t show up for work the next day because she “decided” to take an “extended vacation,” the team knows to keep their eyes on Leland.
Little do they know Leland is currently getting into something wild. And guys, I realize that is saying something considering the last time we saw him, he was cooking his Horned Beast Therapist into a curry, but this is turning into some real freaky shit. Again, I know, I know.
Leland has Sheryl join him at a fancy Hamptons party for influencers. He neglects to tell her it’s a white party, so she shows up in a red dress and is REAL angry about it until a young hot dude compliments her and decides she’ll stick it out. Relatable! Anyway, Leland makes it up to her by introducing her to the most powerful person there, a man named Edward (Tim Matheson really breaking free from that Virgin River Doc Mullins life) who influences politicians and rich people, etc. Influencers are super shady and sinister here because Evil rules. Edward and his oddly marked pupil take a liking to Sheryl, and he invites her for drinks.
The evening gets weird the moment Sheryl gets to the bar, and Edward explains that he was just meeting with a client who wanted to get some murdering done and had to talk him down. Edward doesn’t like murder, which seems like a pro in theory, except for the fact that typically one need not explain that. Dating is hard, okay! Things get weirder: He hands her a cocktail that he made up real special for her (so many red flags!!) and then informs her that they’ll be meeting up with Leland later. Don’t worry guys, Sheryl immediately makes sure it’s not for some weird sex thing. Although after what does go down that night, a weird sex thing might be preferable.
Once at Leland’s, Sheryl realizes she’s paralyzed and can’t get off the couch. That’s when Edward breaks out the syringe. He promises her that she’ll be fine because they’re on her side. Plus, Leland’s in the other room making chocolate-covered strawberries to snack on. How bad could this get?
Uh, pretty bad. Like, Dr. Autry is wrapped up and on some slab, unable to move in Leland’s closet while Edward and Leland hook Sheryl and Edward up to IVs connected to jars of some yet-to-be-named liquid, kind of bad. BAD. It’s very, very unclear what’s happening here, but we do know that when David goes to Leland’s to see if he can find Autry, he instead runs into Sheryl and Edward, who walk out of the apartment all smiles, singing a little ditty together, dressed in whites and blues — bright, light colors we’ve never once seen Sheryl in before. They’re off to play tennis. David is baffled. We all are.
Not to be outdone, though, folks, we have Ben’s storyline. Hey, remember how his sometimes girlfriend Vanessa told him about her dead sister whose ghost is grafted onto her arm and likes to fuck around with her life? Right, so, that comes up again. Apparently, her sister, Maggie, is wreaking havoc again because Vanessa is ignoring her, and Vanessa has had enough of her Arm Ghost Sister. She wants to get rid of her. Ben thinks she should see a therapist to help her work through this, but Vanessa has her own idea. Wouldn’t you know, she brings Ben to Miss Marie’s store — the Miss Marie who helped Lila and her friend Alex when Alex’s dad was turning into a zombie because of his job at CongoRun — to have Miss Marie help her get rid of Maggie.
Ben has told Vanessa that he ultimately believes her when she talks about her sister (he’s also told her that he thinks he’s falling in love with her which is HUGE for this guy), but he looks 100 percent skeptical as they head to the back room. Whether it’s real or not, Miss Marie puts on a good show with lots of wind and the table moving and things breaking as she yells at Maggie to leave her sister alone. There’s some screaming before things calm down, and Vanessa seems satisfied. Plus, it only costs $350 dollars, which seems like a steal, right?
The next time Ben goes to see Vanessa, she seems different. She’s a little wilder, freer. They have some extremely satisfying sex. But when Vanessa starts talking about being rid of her sister and brushes her arm, Ben notices that it isn’t the same arm she told him her sister was before. “What do you think that means, Ben?” she asks. Come on Ben, you know this means some freaky sister stuff!
Ben certainly questions whether he’s talking to Vanessa or Maggie, but he’s the skeptic here, so he’s more worried it’s some sort of psychotic break. After another crazy spin around the bedroom, the woman Ben just had sex with answers to Maggie and insists she isn’t playing games when Ben suddenly gets a call from Vanessa … who is somewhere else entirely. Maggie and Vanessa have a phone conversation. They are seemingly two very real people now. It’s like the horror-show version of Sister, Sister we never knew we needed.
• Influencing pops up in a more familiar way elsewhere in this episode when Kristen notices that Lexis is having some body image issues and is inhaling content from our old friend Malindaz (Evil never forgets — remember that when you’re worried threads are left hanging!). Lexis’s hang-ups aren’t ones you might expect: She sees herself with a lizard tail when she looks in the mirror. A LIZARD TAIL.
• Kristen goes back to RSM one last time to serve them with a court order to have her 12 eggs transferred elsewhere. They’ll do it, but they only have 11 eggs listed on her account. “What did you do with the 12th?” she asks. What indeed.
• What’s up with the helpful but strange receptionist at RSM? After breaking protocol to help Kristen, she tells her, “The world’s in its last days; we have to be kind to each other.” That’s not ominous at all.
• Of course, Sheryl carries around her own clothing security-tag detacher.
• Ben changed his name on Kristen’s phone to “God.” It’s never not funny.