Now, this is why you make Andrea Martin a main cast member, baby. She should be squaring off against sex demons at least once a season from now on. It’s just too good. Her telling it to “bring it on” and it mooning her — it’s the stuff of Evil dreams (also the stuff of evil dreams), and it is only one of the reasons this episode is easily the best of the three thus far.
A young couple David married just a week ago has arrived for some counseling. Leo and Amalia were virgins, but now that they have the go-ahead from their almighty being upstairs, they’re eager to go at it — but have found each time they attempt, it only leads to weird allergic reactions; she breaks out into hives, he has stomach issues. Things took a real turn when Amalia ended up with what looked like claw marks on her back. There’s no explanation for what caused them.
Well, there’s no explanation until Sister Andrea shows up. She follows a trail — literally a trail of slime that only she can see — and finds a demon in the room where David’s meeting with the young couple. When Sister Andrea tries to explain to David that something is trying to possess their marriage, he’s confused because he doesn’t see any sort of demon. “Because you’re not as good,” she tells him. Sister Andrea is the goddamn best and I’ll hear no further arguments on the matter, thank you and good day.
As much as David trusts Sister Andrea, he wants Kristen to come in and speak with Leo and Amalia to see if some couples therapy might work before they declare this a full-scale “diabolical oppression” situation. Although Kristen doesn’t love the idea of having an audience for her sessions since it could inhibit what Leo and Amalia are willing to talk about, Sister Andrea has explained that there is a supernatural element at play here and who is Kristen to turn away a nun? Surely some of this is Kristen feeling like she needs to placate Sister Andrea since David thinks so highly of her — she’s not buying the demon story.
While Kristen does her best to get to the heart of why Leo and Amalia are having so many issues in bed, this really comes down to Sister Andrea versus the demon. She can tell when the counseling is going well (the demon gets angry, tells her to fuck off, and then parts of its body start falling off) and when it isn’t (the demon comes back bigger and stronger). Unfortunately, no one is really paying attention to her advice. Kristen suggests role-playing and fantasy fulfillment as homework for the couple. Later, in Leo and Amalia’s bed, that turns into violence — there’s slapping and biting and eventually Amalia holds a knife to her husband’s throat, demanding he fuck her. It works. They can finally have sex. What they don’t know is that this is working for the demon too — he’s right in the middle of it all and he’s horny as hell.
Kristen and David think they’ve solved the couple’s problem and everyone is happy — except for Sister Andrea, who has one last run-in with the sex demon, now with a new spring in its step and 100 percent less of its face falling off. Sister Andrea was fighting this demonic battle alone all along and it turns out it won’t be the last. There’s another demonic force trying to rile her up: It’s Leland, of course. These two have been major adversaries since day one. Don’t think he’s forgotten that he needs to get rid of her lest she keep trying to thwart his plans to do Satan’s bidding. He sees her talking to the demon, but it looks like she’s talking to herself (does he know there’s a demon there? Unclear). He runs and tells the Monsignor (who honestly seems to be getting sick of Leland’s crap) that he thinks Sister Andrea’s unwell and that if she’s wandering around hallucinating, that’s a liability for the church. The Monsignor makes Sister Andrea aware of the accusation, and then he brings Kristen in to question her and see if she’s noticed anything. Sister Andrea’s obviously nervous since her relationship with Kristen isn’t exactly warm, but she greatly underestimates Kristen’s desire to piss off Leland at every turn. Kristen tells the Monsignor that Sister Andrea has been nothing but great and goes on her way. Unfortunately, I doubt this will be the end of this conversation.
Leland’s sowing chaos elsewhere, too: He’s instructed his newest Online Troll Queen, Sheryl, to turn her focus on a new cryptocurrency, makob (perfect name). You never know what real-world topics the Kings are going to skewer on this show, but taking on crypto and the celebrities who shill for it made me cackle. And what a perfect decision to make despicable influencer Malindaz the “celebrity” Sheryl hires to help increase the value of makob. Even better, Malindaz immediately compares makob to the Fyre Festival and demands to be paid upfront (not in makobs, thank you very much) for her services. God, I hope Ben McKenzie watches this show.
This storyline is about more than crypto, though. It’s also about Sheryl getting her groove back, so to speak. Leland’s hired a bunch of unhappy millennials to work under Sheryl, but mostly they just ignore her and treat her like trash. There’s a lot of “okay, boomer” going around, you know? After a little heart-to-heart with Lexis, Sheryl remembers that “if you can’t be popular, be scary” and that she doesn’t take shit from anyone. Tired of taking crap from her underlings, she gives her one assistant some chocolates with nuts in them, knowing full well she’s allergic, and then holds her EpiPen hostage until she signs the paperwork to resign. She does this in front of her other employees so that they know not to mess with her. It is deliciously wicked. I have zero ideas what Sheryl’s end game is with, well, anything, but it doesn’t matter; it’s so fun to watch her fly that evil flag.
• Ben is starting to get more of a storyline this season: He’s growing increasingly depressed and confused as the unsolvable cases seem to pile up, and David and Kristen are content to just move forward without answers. He’s wearing mismatched shoes, he isn’t showing up for work — finally, Karima forces him to join her at a “Super Secret Science League” meeting so he can talk to people who “speak [his] language.” It works! He feels better after spending some time with scientists, plus Karima agrees to help him answer all the questions he still has about old cases. This is great for Ben and it’s great for us — the Shakir sibling team is a great addition to the show.
• That eyeball popping up in the toilet and Ben simply flushing it back down because he is over this weird shit is a perfect moment.
• After Kristen finds Lexis chanting “I’m bad, I’m bad” while standing in the corner of her room with Kristen’s weird animal sex mask on because Lynn wanted to punish her for telling their mom about Ren, Kristen lays out some new ground rules — a ten commandments for the house. That’s fine, but what’s more worrying is that the girls make their own list, and, well, most of the items on their list make me think Kristen needs to spend more quality time with her daughters. I’m worried about them!
• Sheryl has purchased a home just two blocks away from Kristen’s house! Okay, I’m extra-worried for the girls now!
• There are so many wild and freaky moments with the sex demon, but my favorite is when it removes its ear and eyes so it can keep a watch on Kristen’s one-on-one with Amalia. Horrifying and hilarious — Evil’s sweet spot!