Time to dust off your Step Brothers costumes, ghosties, because it’s Halloween at the Woodstone Mansion once again. Last Halloween, we had punk-ass kids tormenting Sam and Jay and a ghostly gazebo fire to contend with. This year, the holiday is all about competing with Liam Neeson’s annual Halloween party, a séance gone wrong (or very right?), and a lovely addition to Ghosts’ “getting sucked off” gag. From where I’m sitting, that’s all treats, no tricks, baby!
When poor lonely Jay bumps into neighbors Ally and June at the local farmers’ market, the man cannot help himself but continue to be an awkward fanboy. It is his way! He wants to smooth things over after the whole tree debacle, but his way of doing so is, well, more lies. When Ally and June mention they’ll be attending celebrity neighbor Liam Neeson’s annual Halloween blowout — “He has a particular set of skills which allow him to throw a killer party” — Jay notes that it’s a shame since he and Sam are also throwing a rager. He and Sam are of course not throwing a rager, and Ally and June of course agree to check out Jay and Sam’s party before heading to Liam Neeson’s. Jay has stepped in it.
The good news is that Jay and Sam live in a spooky old mansion, perfect for Halloween. Honestly, they should be leaning into that vibe a whole lot more this time of year. Why aren’t they throwing a haunted rager? Host ghost tours! Come on, guys. You need to bolster business; use your heads — and your ghosts! The bad news is that they waited so long to come up with this idea that no one really shows. The only guests are June, Ally, contractor Mark, and Randy, a man who just could not love pickling more. Oh, and the ghosts are there, of course, but they’re invisible, so it really doesn’t count. In short: It’s a bust. Jay tries to save face by first allowing June to take an old feather duster she finds to complete her Ruth Maid-er Ginsburg costume (she’s cleaning up “the mess left behind by the patriarchy,” while Trevor laments that “feminism has ruined this sacred holiday”) and then after a suggestion from the ghosts, Jay and Sam gather everyone for a séance. The ghosts can use their powers to make it a whole thing. If you’re not forcing people into thinking your party is cool through fear, what are you even doing, you know? It’ll be great!
And it is great — if you’re not in the land of the living. To Jay and all the other human guests who have not had a head injury that allows them to see a paranormal plane of existence, the cute little séance rhyme does nothing. The party disbands before things get even lamer (is that possible?), and June and Ally head to Liam Neeson’s house with that feather duster in tow. But for Sam and the ghosts, it’s a completely different experience: The séance works! There’s thunder and lightning and screaming and a portal from above opens up — and down falls a maid from the Gilded Age. Trevor is super into it, naturally. Hetty is not, which also feels on brand. And that’s because this isn’t just any maid — this is Molly, the Irish maid who was having the affair with Hetty’s husband, Elias. Is Hetty more appalled by the affair thing or the Irish thing? Honestly, it depends on the day.
On this day, it’s mostly the affair. Hetty wants Molly gone, and Molly is up in the Good Place (which she can’t give too many details on lest she melt), so she definitely wants to get back, too. We get a couple of new ghost-related rules: The border between the living and the dead is much thinner on Halloween, which they believe means Molly’s only shot of being able to leave is that night, before midnight. They also realize that Molly was the one summoned because of all the hubbub with the feather duster, which belonged to Molly during her life, and she won’t be able to travel back without it being in the house. Does that feather-duster thing only sort of make sense? Sure, but we’re all having fun here, so let’s roll with it. I imagine it is both fun and exhausting to figure out how to explain certain ghostly occurrences, but I do appreciate Ghosts’ effort to find narrative logic — or how unafraid it is to call itself out when things don’t make sense by simply having a character say it out loud. Who cares why ghosts can walk through walls but not fall through floors! Let’s not ruin a good time.
Speaking of that very thing, Jay heads off to Liam Neeson’s party to track down June and the feather duster. The confrontation is about as awkward as you’d imagine it would be since Jay has to somehow explain why he needs that duster back immediately after he offered it to June: “Do you know how weird you’re being right now?” Jay does — such is life being married to someone with ghost powers.
While he’s gone, Hetty really gets up in arms about Molly and is disgusted when Sam even suggests using this opportunity to get some closure. Flower suggests handling the conflict the same way they used to back in the cult: by locking the two people in a room together until they worked it out. The fact that this is a conflict-resolution tactic from a cult sends zero red flags, and Sam decides it’s a great idea. You know what? A little part of me thinks she sort of deserves to be locked in the vault (the only room in the house ghosts can’t walk through, remember) with Hetty and Molly. I mean, she doesn’t deserve to die — which is a possible outcome since the only people who know she’s in there are the ghosts, and she is the only one who can communicate with ghosts, and time is running out and she could suffocate — but a little brush with death might remind her not to take advice, again, FROM A CULT. I’m just saying!!
While the lack of oxygen might be uncomfortable for Sam, it’s actually pretty handy to have her in the room. The true story behind Elias and Molly’s affair comes out, and it becomes clear to Sam that this was all about awful power dynamics. Elias knew Molly had no choice but to accept his advances because she needed her job. She explains to them both that they were victims of “a patriarchal system that pitted women against each other because holding a man accountable wasn’t an option.” Now, Hetty may make snide remarks about Sam’s feminist beliefs, but we know this is an education for her and that her time spent with Sam is worthwhile. This is just another small step in Hetty’s journey of unlearning much of what she believed back in her own time. I mean, Hetty will never, ever come around on letting women drive, but you can’t win them all.
So now that Hetty and Molly have made nice, how the hell will they all get out of the vault in time to keep Sam alive? That’s where the other ghosts come in. You see, much like Liam Neeson, our ghosts have a particular set of skills, and they are able to use those skills to signal to Jay that Sam’s in trouble. There’s light flickering and a succinct (albeit confusing) message on the fogged-up mirror — in case you’re wondering, Trevor did try to open the vault, but it was much too big a task for his power — and, finally, when all hope seems lost, Isaac, who has been trying to avoid letting Nigel see (or smell) his power, walks through Jay to get his attention. Aw, look at our ghosts all coming together to save Sam. They all just love one another so much!!
With Sam out of the vault and the feather duster back at Woodstone, the reverse séance to send Molly back works. As she’s ascending into the portal, Hetty can’t help but make a last-ditch effort to be taken up too. She can’t bear to be left with these “peasants” for one more day! She futilely grabs on to Molly’s legs, screaming, “Let me ride you while you get sucked off!” before being left behind. Friends, I know it’s only season two, but I don’t think I’ll ever not laugh at the “sucked off” joke. It delivers every time! And that is the greatest Halloween treat we could ask for, really.
Ghouls Just Want to Have Fun
• The Isaac-Nigel story line about how scary it can be to fully be yourself in front of your partner is very sweet. It also gives us a great exchange between Isaac and Sas as Isaac tries to figure out what he’s comfortable calling his relationship with Nigel. Sas first offers up “boyfriends,” but that’s “too lovey-dovey” for Isaac. So Sas suggests “murderer and victim,” which is harsh but accurate!
• Pete tries to comfort Isaac when he worries that Nigel might dump him because of his disgusting ghost power by reminding him that there are always other options, even if they are limited to “that one guy” — and maybe Thorfinn when he’s living under “boat rules.” The latter option remains unclear.
• Flower: “I’ve been in relationships that had more people than this party.”
• Now that Ghosts has introduced the idea of Liam Neeson as a neighbor of Woodstone, I hope the joke keeps coming up until it can no longer be ignored and Neeson pops up on the show one day.
• Molly: “You were a cruel and vindictive boss!” Hetty: “It’s too late for flattery.”
